Harry Potter and the Runa Futhark
by incongruous irrelevance
Summary: “One man can turn the tide of a war, Mr. Potter, but that man cannot win the war alone, no matter how powerful he may be” Snape said “If you want to win, you need your friends beside you. Friendship and love, that is what will win a war.
1. Prologue

Hello all, first off I would like to apologise to anybody reading my other story, I will get back to it eventually, I just felt like writing this one instead…

If any of you pick up any discrepancies or mistakes in my writing please feel free to mention it in a review.

**Warning**: There will be mentions of abuse and violence, but nothing graphic… also this is Harry/Hermione, just because I like that pairing much better than Ron/Hermione, there will however be a couple of other pairings, some you might expect, others definitely not.

Also I do realise that Harry sounds much too intelligent for the age I am claiming he is, but answers to the reasons behind this will be forthcoming in the next chapter.

**Disclaimer: The novel Harry Potter, nor any of the characters or ideas pertaining to it belong to me, they are the sole property of the one and only J.K. Rowling.**

And now, on with the show!

**Prologue**

……….

The house of number four, Privet Drive, was an ordinary house. There was an ordinary man with an ordinary wife, and they had the most ordinary son you have ever seen. One may even suggest that this house was a little too ordinary. The occupants did indeed work very hard to insure this impression.

Their reason for doing so was because there was another boy residing in this house, though very few knew of his existence and the Dursleys wanted to keep it that way. Any visitor to the house would not know that another lived there, one who was quite out of the ordinary. Rather extraordinary in fact.

His existence marred the life in which the Dursleys wished to live, and as such they preferred to ignore him as much as possible. The Dursleys, you see where firm believers that if you pretended something didn't exist long enough, it ceased to exist, though this did not of course work.

This boy was currently curled under his rather tattered bed sheets, expecting and dreading his usual wake up call. Every morning it was the same. Vernon Dursley would yell "GET UP BOY!"

This boy did of course have a name, which happened to be Harry James Potter. Not that you would ever find that out in this house; he was known as boy and nothing else. The other occupants of the house frequently talked of Harry as if he wasn't even there, as if he were a troublesome wretch who didn't deserve to walk on the Earth, let alone live in their precious home. But that was all he was to the Dursleys, a thorn in their side, a pebble in their shoe.

You must not however assume that this was any fault of Harry's. No indeed, the Dursleys merely hated anything odd, and Mr. Harry Potter was very _odd_ indeed. With no offence intended of course to this young boy, he was as unDursleyish as it was possible to be. Though this is much more likely to be taken as a complement rather than an insult and it is quite easy to understand why.

Harry heard the familiar THUMP, THUMP of his Uncle as he descended the stairs above him. Harry often amused himself by thinking that it sounded rather like a large elephant on a stampede, rather than a human. But alas, it was human, well with no concrete evidence to the contrary we must assume as much anyway, so Harry braced himself for his Uncle's characteristic wake up call…

He waited, and waited, but it didn't come. Instead the ring of the telephone could be heard reverberating throughout the house. This was decidedly unusual, which was unusual in itself, as it was rather unusual that something unusual would happen in this house. But we are getting off track. Let us just say that it was not common for anybody to be brave enough to ring the Dursley's house before Vernon had had a chance to eat his breakfast and drink a cup of tea. To do so was rather unwise to say the least.

The tantrum that Harry expected his Uncle to throw did not occur however, instead he heard his Uncle's loud footsteps make their way back upstairs to Vernon's room. There seemed to be a lot of thumping going on up there, Harry mused to himself, what can he be doing? (1)

It was some time before Harry heard any other sounds of movement in the house, the next he heard was a pitter-patter of feet coming down the stairs that sounded rather like a mouse scurrying across a roof top. This of course meant it was his Aunt Petunia and he knew that this would bring about an end to his solitary peacefulness. Again he braced himself, and yet again nothing happened.

Harry was intrigued, not even a "GET UP" or a "COOK BREAKFAST NOW" was thrown his way, or even a "GET OUT OF BED THIS INSTANT YOU LAZY LITTLE S…" hmm cough. Well let's merely say that nothing was said by his usually _very_ articulate and colourful Aunt. This was most definitely odd. Not that he was complaining – he could stay in his room, away from _them_.

The 'room' as Harry so called it was not really a room at all, but the cupboard under the stairs. Many would find this small room confining and rather disturbing with all the spiders and bugs that could be found within. But this was Harry's room, it was his, and that was all that really mattered to him, besides he was quite used to it, he had spent so much of his short life within those four walls.

The added bonus was that the Dursleys seldom ventured inside for fear of contamination or some such; consequently Harry found that within those walls he could isolate himself from the rest of the house and that was a blessing in itself.

We are not of course suggesting that Harry Potter enjoyed being alone, however, the Dursleys were all he knew; and anyone with some understanding of the characters of the Dursleys would understand why he wished to stay away. It was for this reason that Harry Potter remained underneath his covers, hoping with all his heart that someone would come and take him away from there, but it never happened, no matter how much or how many times he wished. He was stuck there.

Resigned to his fate Harry dragged himself out of his bed, he knew the longer he left it, the more likely he was to be remembered, the more likely he was to be punished severely. Besides, he was more than slightly curious as to what exactly had silenced the members of the Dursley house. He then removed some of the resident bugs from his clothes before slipping some on.

After donning his clothes he sidled towards the kitchen while still trying to tie his 'belt'. His belt was in fact merely a thin piece of rope that he had found in the garage, though without it his pants, which were many sizes too large for him, would have fallen down around his ankles. His clothes had once been his cousin Dudley's, and his cousin,

although only of age 4 was probably about the size of a baby elephant ("Like father like son?" Harry laughed to himself) and as Harry was much too thin for his age, the clothes looked rather like a circus tent on him.

As he emerged he was surprised to find that the Dursleys were in their best clothes and had suitcases packed at the front door. As he wandered into the kitchen he murmured "where are we going?"

Not really expecting an answer, he was hardly surprised when he was ignored; Harry knew after all that that was the number one rule in the Dursley household – never ask questions.

After ten minutes or so of standing in the doorway he was finally noticed, though that was after Petunia had tripped over him twice and had even almost managed to pour a bowl of boiling hot soup down him.

Harry in fact knew the precise moment that he was noticed as Petunia let out an uncommonly large gasp when she tripped over him for the third time. Harry was rather surprised, he didn't usually elicit such a large reaction, in fact he was usually completely ignored unless he was needed for chores, or when the Dursleys needed something to complain about.

"VERNON!" Petunia screeched, of course being Petunia Dursley screeching was basically the only tone she could manage. "What are we going to do with the boy?"

This obviously hadn't occurred to Vernon either as he said in a surprised, though rather agitated tone "I don't know, we can't very well take the boy to Marge's especially when she is ill, she would go ballistic, can't you leave him with one of your friends?"

"No!" Petunia answered exasperatedly "we can NOT! I don't want any of them to discover his… _oddness_. I would never live it down, we would be shunned. No, no it would never do"

"What about that weird old woman that lives a couple of streets away, what's her name…

Mrs. Flick or Fir or Fruit… wait it's some kind or fruit…" he let out a loud grunt, which one can only suppose was as a result of thinking to hard. Giving up he muttered "anyway what about her, can't she take the boy?"

Meanwhile Harry was watching their conversation as if it were a tennis match; his head kept going back and forth, while they talked about him as if he wasn't there. This was, however, quite a common occurrence in this particular household, Harry was used to it.

"We can't take him there at the moment, her daughter is visiting her, and if she was to discover something about Harry, our reputations would be ruined" Petunia stated matter-of-factly. Petunia Dursley was quite the busy-body, and knew just about everything about everybody in roughly a five kilometer radius of the Dursley's house "and you know very well that she is the only person around that can take him!" the reason for this of course was that the kindly Mrs. Figg was quite mad, or so the Dursleys believed, and if any kind of _oddness_ happened when Harry was there, they believed nobody would take any notice of her if she said anything against them.

The vein in Vernon's temple by this time appeared quite ready to pop out of his head. It didn't, surprisingly enough. He let out a menacing growl "WELL HE CAN'T STAY HERE!" and glared at Harry as if this business was all his fault. In Vernon's mind it was. Harry braced himself for the explosion he knew was to come. "If we left him here we wouldn't have a place by the time we got back – he would be sure to blow it up or something…"

"I would not!" Harry retorted without thinking, in truth he was rather insulted. Though he quickly retreated from the formidable face of his Uncle after he spoke that comment; he had really stepped in it this time. Staring at his Uncle's temple he could see the throbbing increase. It was going to blow any second now.

Fortunately for Harry Vernon was cut off before his rant could begin by the sharp ring of the telephone.

Upon answering it, Vernon's face turned from red to white in a matter of seconds, the loud screeching noise presumably the culprit. Apparently the screeching noise was in fact Vernon's sister Marge as Vernon quickly stuttered "of course Marge, we're leaving right now" before hanging up.

"What is it?" Petunia asked in concern.

"Marge say's she's taken a turn for the worse, and that she wants us there now!"

The previous subject was quite forgotten as the Dursleys were quickly thrown into a state of chaos. Harry strategically retreated to the safety of his cupboard, before his Uncle remembered that he had to continue yelling at him.

For lack of anything better to do in his cupboard, he lay down on his bed, wishing he had something more interesting to do than just lie there. He was, after all a four-year-old, no doubt an incredibly intelligent and gifted four-year old, but a four-year-old none the less and as many of you know, such young children do not like to be idle for large amounts of time.

Many hours later Harry awoke to the sound of… well… nothing. Having no noise in the Dursley household was in fact rather frightening to young Harry, never, not once, for as long as he could remember was there complete silence in the house. There was no yelling Uncle, no screeching Aunt, and most certainly there was no screaming spoilt little brat, otherwise known as Dudley Dursley.

Harry strained his ears further, only to discover that not even the TV was on and that was just plain scary, Harry had never known the TV to be turned off during the day, "something must really be really wrong" he thought. The morning's events did not register to his sleep-fogged brain, so he quickly got up and scrambled into the hallway to find out what drastic event had occurred that had silenced the Dursleys.

After a considerable amount of time spent pondering, Harry determined that the drastic event that occurred was not in fact incredibly drastic, he had merely been forgotten again, nothing new. The Dursleys had left him alone in this house to fend for himself. Not that he was complaining.

Never before had Harry ever known such an all-consuming silence, and he had to admit to himself, it was wonderful.

Four-year-olds, as a general rule, do not like to be left alone. Place one in such isolation as Harry was now experiencing and they would be in tears within moments, but not this remarkable young boy. He merely sat and reveled in the silence that enveloped him, with such an ear-splitting grin, the likes of which had never before been seen on his face; over the next few years, it became highly questionable whether it would ever be seen again.

……….

To the Dursleys, consumed as they were in themselves, it did not even occur to them that they had forgotten something, or more correctly someone. It appeared the Dursley's memories were repressed unless the object of their ire was in front of them. It is perhaps more plausible to suggest that the Dursleys in fact subconsciously chose to forget the unwanted addition to their house, 'the boy' as Harry was known by them, though that's merely a theory.

Whatever the reason, Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, savior of the Wizarding World was thus forgotten, by his family no less. As such the little four-year-old, Harry Potter, was left in the Dursley house unsupervised and alone until such time as Marge admitted to feeling well again. As Marge was fond of people waiting on her hand and foot, this could take quite a while.

……….

Harry didn't question why his Aunt and Uncle had left him; he didn't really want to know. He realised, of course that they would come back eventually, as they would never trust him alone in their house for an extended period of time; that was of course, if they actually remembered him, which was highly unlikely to happen any time soon.

Harry did not want to spend his time thinking about why, he planned to enjoy their absence for as long as he could; after all, such an opportunity as this was unlikely to come again anytime soon for Harry Potter. He wanted to enjoy life to the full, and he did just that… for one day. By that time Harry had become sick of what the Dursley house had to offer; within minutes he was fed up with the mind-numbing repetitive nature of Dudley's computer games, within hours he was fed up with the absolute stupidity the television had to offer. Sadly this was what the Dursleys spent the majority of their lives doing.

With nothing else left to do, Harry ventured into the one room he had not yet dared to enter – Dudley's second bedroom. Here lay all the items either rejected or broken by Dudley, and despite his young age there were a large number of them. Harry quite sure that if Dudley found these items boring, then _he _was sure to find them interesting and so he began to rummage through the obscenely large collection. Here he found all manner of interesting things, but by far the most interesting was a computer game that looked like it had never been touched – and that was the most intriguing thing about it. Every item in this room had at one point been touched by Dudley, with the minor exception of the books on the shelf, and for this item not to have been used by him, especially considering that it was a computer game, it was just inconceivable.

This was too much for Harry, his curiosity finally got the best of him and he took the disk out, went to Dudley's room and placed it in his computer. A screen came up and Harry pressed random buttons until it decided to work, actually managing to install the program without actually reading it, as Harry of course couldn't read.

The computer then started talking to him, which, at first, made him jump off his seat in fright "Welcome" it said, "To the primary grade English reading tutor. Following this introduction we will teach you the fundamentals of reading the English Language"

From this introduction Harry caught the gist of what was being said and he thus realised why this program was apparently untouched: it was educational; therefore Dudley would keep well away from it. With nothing else to do, and no idea when his Aunt and Uncle were to return, Harry decided to continue on, and did so all day, and the next, and the next. By this time Harry had completed the program and was itching for more to read, he found the process of reading utterly fascinating. Remembering the books in Dudley's second bedroom he abandoned the computer and raced to the only bookshelf inside the Dursley house. Harry set about reading the simple books on the shelf and before long had devoured them all, after all there weren't that many. Hungering for more, but knowing there were no more such books in the Dursley household, Harry set out through the house to find _anything_ he could read, he picked up phone books, cooking books (of which there were quite a number), street directories, even some of his Uncle's drilling magazines, anything that contained the written word. By that time he had quite a pile stacked up, so he took a handful outside, sat under a big tree and began to read.

It took him two days to read the stash he had amounted, but he found that the more he read, the easier it became, and the quicker he was able to read.

Again he searched but came up with nothing else. In desperation he began reading the food labels on packages until he had made his way around the entire kitchen. By that time his reading had made him quite hungry, it didn't of course help that what he was reading was food. He had survived previously on a large bowl of fruit he found in the kitchen, and being of only four years of age, he didn't stop to question why the Dursley's had fruit in their house, let alone why it remained full, even after he had eaten about twenty pieces. He was quite sick of fruit by now and decided to apply one of the recipes he had read in Petunia's cook books. Having virtually no experience of the outside world it did not seem odd to Harry that he could cook the exact recipe of anything he had previously read from memory alone. He decided on pizza, he had never eaten it before and Dudley was always asking for it. After eating his fill for the first time in his life at the Dursleys, Harry renewed his search for reading material. After an extensive search, he came up with one book, a dictionary, and he began reading. Harry found that as he reached the last few words his eyes began to droop in exhaustion, after all for a four-year-old the past few days had been _very_ exhausting, so he curled up on the lounge and fell into a peaceful sleep, unaware of a small set of eyes observing him from the window.

……….

Harry awoke the next morning at a loss to know what to do with his time, but hearing his stomach grumble he realised he had to eat something, so he wandered into the kitchen and made some porridge. While he ate his breakfast he felt something nagging at him, but he couldn't quite pinpoint its direct cause. It seemed however as if it were trying to draw him outdoors, his undeniable curiosity made Harry incapable of resisting the impulse. So Harry donned the warmest clothes he could find and grabbed the spare key to the house before relenting to the irresistible compulsion to wander outside.

The odd compulsion seemed to have a definite purpose in mind for him; it dragged him down the footpath, left and right, it kept changing. Along with the impulse there was now a definite sense of urgency that made Harry quicken his pace considerably. Many streets away from the Dursley's house the mysterious force stopped suddenly, and so did Harry as it did not seem inclined to lead him any further. He looked around, "why on earth was I bought here?" he muttered to himself; indeed this street looked like any other, but as Harry had a very, _very_ good memory he knew he could find his way back to his cupboard with ease.

Here he waited for some minutes, the icy wind starting to seep through his clothes into his skin, just waiting for something to happen… and he waited… and waited. By now Harry was thinking that it was all merely imagined, so he started to head off back home, but was stopped in his tracks by the sound of a voice whispering "cold, so cold", he waited again, his ears burning, but nothing else happened, so he wrote it off as a result of his overactive imagination, and so he kept walking. But it came again, in a much louder and agitated tone "HELP! Murder! Save me, somebody please" shocked; Harry looked around frantically for the source of the distress call but could see no-one in the vicinity. He stood frozen, not knowing what to do, he just stood there. The voice came again "Nice kitty, stay back, NO ssstay back. DON'T EAT ME! Look at me I wouldn't be at all tasty, I'm all thin and… Hey ssstay back!" now this completely threw Harry, what kind of cat could eat a person? It just didn't make sense, was he imagining it all?

No he definitely wasn't imagining it, as it just spoke again, but this time it seemed to be getting closer. "Ahhh" it yelled "sssave me! Ahhhhh" it yelled again.

Harry noticed what was making the noise this time, or at least he thought he did. As, at that moment something that looked remarkably like a snake darted towards him, followed closely by a brown fur-ball of a cat. Without stopping to consider the intelligence of his actions he swiftly scooped the snake up and placed it in his inside coat pocket before Harry himself was pummeled by the deranged fur-ball.

The cat managed to knock the wind out of Harry, and so it wasn't until Harry had regained his breath that he quite realised what he had done, that is that he now had a live snake inside his pocket.

"How on earth am I going to get it out?" he thought to himself and he sat there pondering for quite a long time. You mustn't suppose, however that our hero was particularly afraid of snakes, nor that he was a coward, merely exceedingly cautious when it came to a possibly poisonous snake. He took a deep breath and prepared to glance into his pocket to size up his problem. As he did, he jumped nearly ten feet in the air.

It was not so much what he saw that shocked him so, but rather what he _heard. _As soon as Harry peeped in it yelled in a squeaky sort of voice "No! Don't look at me, I'm hideous!"

Harry had no doubt about it now, the snake _was _talking to him, but he thought that rather odd, after all he had never heard of a talking snake, this one must be special.

"My skin, my precious, precious skin! Why, oh why! What a cruel world!" it groaned. Harry also found the one-sided conversation rather odd; after all if a snake could talk, he didn't think it would sound anything like that, he thought it would be more ominous and evil-sounding, instead it sounded sort of like Dudley when he started winging.

As Harry believed this was a very special snake, he wondered "if I can understand it, could it understand me?"

So he decided to put his hypothesis to the test, though a little unsure as to how to go about addressing a snake, nonetheless he began "Ah… excuse me… Mr… ah… Snake, would you kindly leave my pocket?"

"No!" came the muffled reply of the snake "too cold out there"

Harry stood there dumbstruck for a couple of minutes, the snake _could_ actually understand him! He stayed silent for many moments contemplating this new found fact, before the words of the snake finally registered in his head, and he replied "Well I can't very well take you home with me, now can I?"

"Why not? You're warm, I like warm, warm is good! Besides you don't very well expect me to go back out there and freeze to death, do you?"

"No of course I don't, but you can't stay with me, I'd have nowhere to keep you, nothing to feed you, besides I can just imagine my Aunt's face if she ever found you…" the image of his Aunt screaming in fright of this harmless little character proved to be too much for Harry and he broke down into fits of giggles.

If you let me come with you I wouldn't be very much trouble at all, honessst!" hissed the snake.

With the image of his Aunt, fainting in fright, still floating around in his head, Harry began to reconsider his previous aversion to the idea.

The snake voiced a final "pleassse" that sounded so mournful and pleading that Harry finally gave in. "All right" he said to the snake "you can stay for a while but I can't guarantee that I will keep you" and with that he began to walk back towards the Dursley's house.

By this time other pedestrians had started to give Harry a very wide berth, after all, a child in baggy clothes, that looked distinctly unkempt and who appeared to be hissing into his jacket, would seem rather disturbing.

Approximately five minutes into his journey back Harry was once again reconsidering his decision to keep the snake – it wouldn't shut up it just kept on talking and talking. Harry was quite sure he had learned the snakes entire life history, and considering he was only young, it was rather short. Harry also rapidly learned that this snake had a certain flair for the dramatic and most particularly loved to complain. Harry stopped listening and began to take in his surroundings as the snake recounted his abandonment by a huge white and pink thing, which Harry assumed meant a man, and his subsequent attack by the deranged fur ball, for the second consecutive time. Boy this snake loved to talk, though he supposed it was a nice change to have someone to actually talk to, but _really_ enough is enough!

Consumed as he was on his 'mission', the last time he had walked down this pathway, Harry had not noticed the buildings around him. There was, in fact, even a rather large set of shops he missed, as well as a small park and a school. By far the sign that interested him most, however, was on a large building that looked rather old, it read "Library" and if he remembered correctly, which he believed he did, the Dictionary he had read the day before stated that a Library was in fact "a place set apart to contain books and other literary material for reading, study, or reference, where books may be read or borrowed" (2)

If this _was_ in fact the case, Harry had most certainly discovered his paradise. He entered to find row upon row of books, he was mesmerised, this was sure to keep him occupied for a long, long time. In his preoccupation, he didn't notice the small bird that followed him into the building and curiously the other occupants of the library didn't notice it either. The bird flew down one isle and landed, then moments later a rather ruffled human came from the same isle, oddly enough, however, this person did not encounter the aforementioned bird.

While this was taking place Harry just stood there enraptured, before he was awoken from his stupor by the snake wriggling around in his pocket, while yelling "Are you listening to me, or are you ignoring me, oh you are, of course you are, everybody does, first my family, now you! Oh I am sssooo alone, I feel so depressed!" it groaned dramatically, while Harry merely rolled his eyes at the snake's antics. Now reminded of the fact that he had a snake inside his jacket he felt he should return to the Dursleys, so he reluctantly tore himself away from this beautiful sight.

Upon reaching the Dursley's house he realised that the key to the front door was in fact in the same pocket as the one the snake was currently residing in and thus he thought it perhaps best to warn the snake before sticking his hand in. "Snake," Harry said questioningly "I need the key that you're lying on, so I have to stick my hand in my pocket, Ok?"

Finally the snake grudgingly answered "Fine but just don't jostle me around too much" before rapidly adding in an agitated tone "and don't look at me!"

With that Harry took a deep breath and stuck his hand in, expecting the snake to bite him at any moment. Lucky for Harry that this snake had started to 'warm' to Harry (he liked the warmth of Harry's body as well), as such the thought of biting the obtrusive hand didn't even occur to him.

Exhaling his breath loudly as he safely removed his hand, Harry turned the key, took his jacket off, and made his way to his cupboard. Feeling how cool it was under the stairs, and knowing, after the continuous rants, that this snake did not like the cold in the least, Harry laid his jacket down and said "I will be back in a minute, stay there"

Harry then ran out of his room and fetched a hot water bottle from the closet, before filling it with warm water, wrapping it in a large towel and heading back to his room. The rapidly receding residual warmth from Harry's jacket began to make the snake grouchy again, though his happiness greatly increased when Harry placed the wrapped hot water bottle inside his jacket.

"Is that better?" Harry asked tentatively

"Yes, much, thank you" the snake replied.

Reassured as to the snake's comfort he decided to try and coax the snake out of his jacket "Would you mind coming out of my jacket now?" he asked while lifting open the jacket again

"NO!" the snake hissed loudly "I told you before, don't look at me!"

"Why not?" Harry asked curiously

"I'm so ugly" the snake replied piteously

"What do you mean? I am sure you're not! Come out of there."

"I am, I definitely am, I am losing my beautiful skin, it's tragic!" if snakes could sob, Harry was quite sure that was exactly what it was doing now.

"You're shedding, that's all? Come on I am sure you are beautiful, I am taking you out now seeing as you are so unwilling to come out yourself." Harry reached in, forgetting he was dealing with a snake and could get bitten for doing such, and pulled the snake out of its hiding hole.

"Now see" Harry said "that wasn't so hard, was it? I don't know what you're talking about, you're beautiful"

"Really?" the snake asked, brightening up

"Definitely, you have to be the loveliest snake I have ever seen" Harry consoled, and he was not lying, for the snake was quite beautiful, added to this, this _was_ the only snake he had ever seen up close, but he wasn't about to admit that.

Almost preening himself now with his ego being boosted so highly, the snake said proudly, "I suppose I am quite nice to look at, even though I am shedding".

"There we go, see? Oh, I haven't introduced myself I'm Harry, what's your name?"

"I don't have one" the snake said sadly as he stretched himself out to his full length.

The snake was actually much smaller than Harry originally thought, it was only about 25 centimeters (3), he thought it was actually rather cute with its white and black markings, though perhaps a little overdramatic. "How old are you?" Harry asked instead

"I don't know" the snake said even more piteously "not very old I don't think, the only thing I can remember after hatching is being dumped outside, away from the warmth. After that I stayed in a house of some kind for a little while, then I started to lose my precious skin and was attacked by that monstrous _thing_ and then I found you and you saved me – thank you for that by the way"

"Don't worry about it" Harry quickly replied, trying to avoid yet another repetition of the snake's life story, he changed the subject again by saying "we have to think of a name for you, I can't just keep calling you snake" it's getting a little repetitive and redundant. (4)

"Alright, but make it something interesting or I won't agree" the snake replied grudgingly Harry pondered this for a long time, he did know quite a few names as he had discovered a book of obscure baby names among his stash the day before, he assumed the Dursley's must have purchased it before Dudley was born. Where else would they have gotten such a _different_ name from? He thought and thought until he had finally come up with the perfect name "How about 'Adonia'?" he asked. (5)

"It is _interesting_, but why that?" the snake asked

"I thought it very apt" Harry replied "as it means 'beautiful' in Greek"

"I love it!" the snake replied enthusiastically when he heard the meaning.

"Okay, Adonia, I need to eat something now as I am absolutely starving…" he stopped still, that reminds me, what do_ you_ eat?"

"I am not hungry at the moment, but I do wish to accompany you" the snake hissed.

Harry then allowed Adonia to entwine herself around his upper arm and neck. While Harry prepared and ate his lunch, Adonia muttered comments in his ear like "you need to wash, you don't smell so good" and "you need to clean your nest it's disgusting".

Acquiescing to all the snake's requests Harry showered and cleaned his room, finding a couple of loose floorboards under the thick layer of dust in the process. He then pried them off, creating a decent sized hole in the floor and fetched a small cardboard box and an old blanket from Dudley's second bedroom. Laying them in the newly created hole he realised that it would not be warm enough for the snake down there as he laid Adonia into it. (6) Still gripping the box, he pondered his dilemma, but couldn't come up with a solution, he concentrated fully on his problem, "This box needs to be warm, it needs to protect him as well, how can I do it?" he asked himself. At that moment he felt a warm tingling in his fingers and realised he was still holding the box.

Adonia let out a satisfied grunt "I like it here; it's so beautiful and warm"

Confused at this comment for a moment, Harry finally decided that he must have been wrong, that it was in fact warm down there, and left it at that.

Neither Harry nor Adonia noticed a small symbol carve itself into the box.

……….

Days passed, and with them Harry learnt a great deal about his newfound and only friend, both from the source itself and from the Library. In this simple way of spending his time Harry found a contentment he had never quite known, one he wouldn't find again for many years.

On Harry's frequent visits to the Library Adonia had been quite impossible, she would not allow Harry to leave without her, and in the end Harry had to concede to her wishes. He had rescued an old bag of Dudley's and placed his friend within, making sure she was quite comfortable and warm before setting out.

Many more days passed in such an agreeable manner, sitting in the library reading book after book. Harry found in books a world he could not find in reality, in them he could have a family, and they brought hope to his somewhat miserable life.

The librarians of course noticed this small boy, after all how could they not? He sat there day after day, reading books that were too difficult for someone three times his age, yet he read them and seemed to understand them because he kept on reading, the speed at which was increasing daily. This definitely sparked their curiosity, but being naturally unobtrusive people, they felt it better not to ask the boy for fear of scaring him away. They therefore left Harry alone and contented themselves with merely observing this oddity.

……….

Such an idyllic life had to eventually come to and end, and it did so, unfortunately for Harry rather much too soon for his liking. Though Harry would have preferred that the Dursleys never return, so indeed, any amount of time was much too soon.

By now, dear reader, I am quite sure you must have believed Harry's freedom would have lasted forever and that the Dursleys had in fact fallen of the face of the Earth or some such, but that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Vernon had taken a personal leave of absence from his job as the director of the firm Grunnings. But even the director must return to his job, no matter how powerful they may be, they must set an example for their underlings. It was for this reason, and this reason only that the Dursleys felt they must return, after all they had been gone almost three weeks and they were sure that Marge was quite recovered.

Marge however put up such a great fuss when she was informed of their plans, after all three weeks was definitely not enough time for her to recover from a cold, well at least not at all enough time to be waited on hand and foot, but the Dursleys stood firm and left the next morning.

……….

So absorbed was Harry in his new world that he did not seem to notice the small set of eyes that followed him everywhere, and kept a close watch as it flew above him. The return of the Dursleys signaled the end of his ever vigilant companion's watchful eyes, she flew away and did not return to Privet Drive for a long, long time.

The time passed all too quickly for Harry, he had been so absorbed in this new world of books, the time just flew, and he forgot that he wasn't actually part of the books he read, he wasn't part of their world. He forgot that he had his own world, though it was by far no where near as glamorous as those he joined when he read. The fact that the Dursleys would eventually return also managed to slip his mind, so he was quite unprepared for the day when they actually arrived home.

As the Dursleys entered their house to find Harry cooking on the stove, their memories about the annoying boy were triggered. Rather than rightly blaming themselves for Harry's presence in their house, they took it out on Harry. Never before had Harry received such a punishment, leaving him considerably damaged in both mind and body after Vernon was through with him, and never again did he want to receive another one like it.

But he did, and as the years went by they got much, much worse.

……….

**Notes!** (7)

(1) If you are reading this note, you probably have a dirty mind, not unlike me, but no this sentence was not supposed to have any dirty connotations – just thought I would mention that…

(2) Actually definition from Macquarie Dictionary

(3) Random trivia: 25 centimeters is 9.8 inches

(4) Sorry I have been watching too much Gilmore Girls, this is a quote from the episode entitled "Dead Uncles and Vegetables" – a great episode, one of my favourites!

(5) Adonia pronounced: ah-DOH-nee-uh and actually means beautiful in Greek, at least I think it does… I got my information from "alfabette zoope name lists" website

(6) Yes I do realise that snakes are cold-blooded creatures and that putting giving the snake a blanket would not keep it warm, but Harry is four and he doesn't know this, there is also a meaning for it which will develop later in the story…

(7) Just a note on the notes, I really am sorry about how many there are, but they are fun to write, so they will keep going and going… If you are still reading this I love you! But I think you need to get a life :-P Just joking… but seriously you must have extreme willpower to get this far!

To be continued…

Fear not, I do realise this chapter was rather slow, but this story will gradually build momentum…

Please review  I love them so much


	2. The Boy Who 'Lived'

**Chapter 1: The Boy Who 'Lived'**

……….

**Disclaimer: **The novel Harry Potter, nor any of the characters or ideas pertaining to it belong to me, they are the sole property of the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Authors Note: **Hello all look another chapter! Wahoo!

Anyway probably should let you know that this fic is AU to a certain extent, especially where books five and six are concerned… well obviously because it's a Harry/Hermione fic, but I will in fact use very little from those two books, you have been warned!

Sorry I didn't actually get Harry to Hogwarts this chapter, but he will next chapter… I am one-hundred percent sure that it will probably happen… 95 percent sure (I love Monk so much! – those of you who watch it might get my little quote dropping… hmm I watch too many TV shows)

If everything with my story goes according to plan, then all the little hints I dropped in the Prologue about where this story is going _should_ come together… at least I hope – some of them are brought up in this chapter as well. Speaking of which… has anyone worked out from the title what this story is about?

PS… sorry my Authors notes are always so long… it seems I like telling my life story or something

……….

"**Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.**

**Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."**

**--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe**

……….

"Dumbledore, you were right about him, that boy is going to change our world" the tawny (1) haired young woman said to the aging headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Would you like a lemon drop?" said Dumbledore, his barmy characteristics seeming to come out at the oddest moments.

"No thank you" said the woman, refusing as politely as possible while giving the Headmaster an odd look. "The things I saw him do, even in the short time I was there were simply astronomical, to use exactly the right word (2). I am quite sure he must have read half the library, and at his age! He's only four Albus! It's just amazing!" She paused for a moment, before she was able to continue however, she was interrupted by Dumbledore.

"Julia, slow down, breathe" which was a wise suggestion indeed as in her zeal to explain she _had_ forgotten to breathe "I knew this boy would be intelligent, with his parents being Lily and James Potter, what else could he be? But is he really what you say he is?"

"Albus I have no doubt about it, Harry Potter is every thing we ever hoped for, he is going to turn our world upside down"

"Then I have nothing more to wish for, we can only hope that it will be some years yet before Voldemort's return , Harry can not face Voledmort's combined forces at such a young age again nor can we afford to lose him" Dumbledore sighed in sadness, his age showing considerably at that moment.

"I presume that you were unnoticed when you were observing Harry?"

"Yes Albus, I am not an Auror for nothing, I do know how to be stealthy after all. Besides who is going to notice another little robin flying around? Though I did have a bit of a close call, another robin decided to attack me, apparently I had invaded his territory and that wasn't pleasant I can tell you!" Said Julia in a very rapid pace

"And Harry noticed nothing odd about his guardians abandoning him for three weeks, nor the food you left for him?" Dumbledore asked with a slight bit of shock evident in his tone, though he tried to hide it.

"Surprisingly no, it didn't, he kept himself awfully busy, I only ended up leaving some fruit in a bowl, and I constantly replenished anything he used. What _was _odd though was the fact that he seemed happier that they were away, I don't think there is much love for him in that house Albus, they don't seem like very nice people…"

Again she was cut of by Dumbledore "Nonsense! They are his family, of course they love him! He will be quite happy where he is until he arrives at Hogwarts; besides that is the safest place for him to ensure both his welfare and the safety of the Wizarding World.

Just think Julia, if he was in our world now he would be hounded by the populace and he would never be safe, no, no he must grow up away from all of that, he is in the best possible place for him. Besides which he has your mother to look out for him, she would never let harm befall him." Dumbledore smiled, as if trying to appease her

Julia was not convinced. She attempted one last time to alter his opinion by saying "Yes Albus I know my mother would never _knowingly_ let harm befall him, but I fear she is rather limited in her capabilities regarding him, after all she only sees him every so often, that's hardly enough time to develop an informed opinion about his welfare!"

"Julia, he is fine! Let this be the end of our discussion!" Dumbledore said attempting to pacify her yet again.

Though she was still in disagreement with him she did not continue, it was impossible to alter Albus Dumbledore's opinion when he felt he was right; no doubt she would have fought a lot harder if she knew the entire truth. "Yes Albus" she said while mentally groaning "I must now return to my post, I have been away far too long and although you have quite a bit of sway over the head Aurors, they _do _need me back. Besides I love my job too much to be away from it" she smiled what she hoped was an agreeable smile, and not the scowl she wanted to send his way; Dumbledore smiled at her so she assumed it was the former though she would have much preferred the latter.

"Julia" he said "when am I going to get you to give up your job and work for me?" (3)

Julia laughed, a real laugh this time "Albus, you have been trying to get me to teach ever since I graduated! It's not going to happen any time soon, you know that right? Besides my temper always gets the best of me, I would probably bite some student's head off!" Dumbledore only laughed and shook his head

"Good bye Albus" she said, to which Dumbledore answered with a smile.

……….

Many months after the above event occurred, Harry awoke suddenly; the dream was haunting him again. The dream was always the same, a bright flash of green light, screaming and then it ended. It was not perhaps so much the dream itself that haunted him, it was more the feeling he was left with as he awoke, a feeling of all encompassing loneliness and desolation.

Every single time he had this dream he would wake up in a cold sweat, shaking, it felt as if his insides turned to ice and it was then that Harry Potter would cry. This was the only time Harry would allow himself to show any weakness, and he made sure it was never around his relatives, but he could not seem to stop, it was at those moments that his wish for a real family would become most fervent, and it was also in this time that he would acknowledge the complete impossibility of his wish and this is why he cried.

He would not cry when his uncle beat him to a pulp for any perceived wrongdoing, he would not cry when the sharp barbs of his relative's cruel words hit home. It was only when he was alone that he would let the tears fall.

His body ached with every sob, the pain of his uncle's punishments wreaking havoc on his small body, but still he cried, unable to will himself to stop.

……….

Hours later he lay still awake, dreading the oncoming torture that his relative's awakening would bring. Adonia comforted him somewhat, but she could not entirely replace what he was lacking, a real family.

He heard his Uncle thump down the stairs while yelling "boy, get up and cook me breakfast, NOW!"

Seconds later Harry scrambled from his room, attempting not to incur the wrath of his Uncle, though it was all in vain, it would happen anyway, it was inevitable.

As he was cooking a rather unhealthy breakfast that he would no doubt not even get a taste of, his Aunt emerged. She looked at him with a scowl and said in an officious tone, her face scrunching up as if she had just consumed something nasty, "Boy, why aren't you dressed and can't you do something with that hair, it's disgusting"

Harry was quite unaware of what his Aunt was talking about he didn't think he was going anywhere, though they generally did not think to inform him about the goings-on in the house. Daring to ask, and risk her displeasure he said in a small voice "Why, where am I going?"

For once, he was actually answered, something indeed which was very rare. "You are going to school you nitwit, maybe it will do you good and beat some manners into you!" Petunia replied, her nostrils flaring.

Unable to quite contain his excitement he murmured "I am?"

"Yes! It's not like we had any choice, we would get fined if we didn't send you!" Petunia screamed "Now get back to work, and don't burn it! Then go make yourself look as decent as possible, not that that gets you very far" she growled.

Harry couldn't quite believe it; he was actually going to school! He had of course read about it in various books, but didn't know whether he would ever get the chance to go. He got out of the kitchen as quickly as he could, afraid that his exuberance would show and that the Dursleys would change their minds, or worse.

He was ready in five minutes and he thought he had everything he could need at school, stuffed away in one of Dudley's old bags. As he was walking out the door of his cupboard a large pile of rags was thrown at him with an accompanying comment of "wear this boy!"

On second observation, Harry discovered that the rags he was holding were not in fact rags, but an old baggy school uniform that looked like it had been warn about a thousand times before he laid his hands on it, but he supposed it was better than nothing.

He quickly changed, grabbed his school stuff and ran out the door to sit on the garden wall just next to the car so he wouldn't be forgotten.

He could hear Dudley screaming and wailing, most of them crocodile tears mind you, "I don't want to go!" he kept yelling, "Mummy don't make me go!" Harry merely rolled his eyes at his cousin's idiocy.

Nevertheless, despite all of Dudley's complaining they both ended up in the car within half-an-hour, which was quite a feat on the part of Mrs. Dursley.

……….

Roughly ten minutes later, they arrived at their Primary School; it was rather large with many students running around the outside. It was September 1st, 1984 (4) and Harry and Dudley would be attending infant school, as both would be turning five within that school year (5).

Harry had high hopes for his schooling life; he would actually be able to learn! On the contrary Dudley was merely there because he had to be.

Not even Dudley's hard punch to Harry's stomach, where he already had a myriad of bruises could dampen Harry's spirit. He followed his Aunt carefully, but still managed to look around in rapture, after signing them in, they were led to the building which would be theirs for the school year. Dudley and Harry were in the same year, but as they had rather a large number of students enrolling that year, they were placed in separate classrooms AN: more due to the fact that it was more convenient to my storyline lol.

Harry waltzed through the door, without even a backward glance, while his future peers around him held on to their parent's legs, begging them not to leave. The teacher found this somewhat peculiar, but it did happen occasionally, by the end of the day the kids with the initial cavalier attitudes were usually in a very similar state to the other children she was currently observing, begging for their parents to return.

Harry proved her wrong though, he would have been quite happy to stay at school for the rest of his life, and was extremely disappointed when the parents did re-emerge. School was not of course what he was expecting, it was very simple, much too easy, but he assumed that it was just because it was the first day, and that the pace would pick up soon. Nevertheless he had a wonderful time, and was eager to return, though he would bring his current novel he was reading until the lessons became a little more challenging.

Harry rapidly caught the attention of the teacher, after all, how could he not? He finished every task within moments of receiving it, no matter what subject. What's more he didn't even make a big deal about it, he was such a quiet boy, he would walk up to her, hand her his work and return to his desk only to get out his Math's book and do extra work. Nor when it came time to play did he join the other children, he sat in a corner away from everyone and read one of the large, simple books on the shelf, though he appeared to be having trouble with it as he always got the same book and never seemed to turn the pages. After weeks of observing these strange little rituals of his, she finally approached him, intent on helping him read the book that was giving him so much trouble, or at the very least inquiring why he did not play with the other children.

What she saw, however, as she approached Harry surprised her no end, she discovered the reason he was having trouble reading the book, it was because he was not in fact reading it. Hidden behind the large cover of the book she had assumed he was trying to read was another, it was very thick with small writing, though at that distance she could not determine what it in fact the book actually was.

Harry did not notice; he was much too absorbed in his book at the time, so he did not see his teacher, Mrs. Lynn observing him intensely. She did catch his notice however, when he heard a soft, inquisitive "What are you reading?" coming from right beside him.

Harry quickly pulled his 'cover' book over his actual book, adopting a nonchalant attitude "nothing really" he replied.

Raising her eyebrow she said "oh really, then I don't suppose you will mind me taking a look?" and with that she took both books in her hands. What she saw surprised her immensely in her hands lay "The Count of Monte Cristo" which was most definitely a near impossible task for many children three times his age. Surprising as this may be, this was not what shocked her the most, the title in fact read "Le Comte de Monte Cristo"

Dumbfounded, she finally managed to speak to the downcast form of Harry "You're reading The Count of Monte Cristo?" she asked, to which Harry merely nodded. "IN FRENCH!" she said almost yelling in surprise; unfortunately Harry took the rise in her voice to mean that he had done something wrong. He was always doing the wrong thing it seemed and he would always be punished severely for it. Knowing from the experience of Mr. Dursley that she probably required an apology he whispered "yes ma'am I'm sorry I shouldn't have done it I apologise" before bending his head down, waiting for the verbal, and most likely physical onslaught. To his surprise it didn't come.

Mrs. Lynn was momentarily stumped by his strange reaction and sudden change in posture, though she merely assumed in the end that she must have frightened him by raising her voice, she guessed that being such a quiet, well mannered boy he must not have been used to such. Lowering her voice, she said in a much gentler tone "dear boy, I am not angry with you, quite the contrary I assure you" quite forgetting with her discovery of his reading ability that he was in fact four years old, and most unlikely to understand her formal tone.

She knelt down beside him, trying to assuage his fears, she asked again quietly "Were you really reading this book?" to which Harry nodded mutely. "Is French your first language?" she asked, while Harry gave her a baffled look.

Moments later Harry asked in a whisper "What do you mean?"

Realising he did not quite understand what she was asking she altered her question "Why were you reading it in French, and don't be afraid I won't get angry with you"

"I was led to believe, by a conversation I overheard in the Library that the book was a better read in French than in English, so I was putting that hypothesis to the test" Harry replied softly with a shrug of his shoulders.

"And what is your verdict?" she enquired

"I am not quite sure as of yet" he replied succinctly.

"Fair enough, but how is it that you came to learn French, did your father or mother teach you?" she asked and was rather surprised at the response, though it was not so much what he said, but the expression on his face as he said it. He suddenly had a great look of loss, loneliness and sadness apparent in his face, but he quickly tore his eyes away from her inquisitive gaze and murmured a rapid "no" with his eyes downcast.

Exactly what this meant she was not entirely sure, but did not want to pry, he already seemed sad enough. "Then how did you come to learn it?" she continued unwilling to let the matter rest.

"I read some books on it in the library, and one of the librarians helped me a little.

"Okay…" she said, shocked to silence again, unsure what to say to this, she instead changed the subject "although I am sure you find great enjoyment in your book, why do you not play with the other children?"

"I don't know how" he said so softly she was not entirely sure whether the words left his mouth or if she was imagining it. He quickly spoke again to try to cover up what he had unconsciously let slip "They don't like me, they tease me. They make fun of my hair, my clothes and my glasses, besides I don't understand them, they talk in such simplistic terms, they confuse me." He said, his brow furrowing up.

Mrs. Lynn was started out of her stupor by the sharp metallic sound of the end-of-school bell; she couldn't quite believe that she had managed to ignore the rest of her class for almost an hour. Noticing that Harry had scampered off, she quickly made the resolution to talk to his guardian, no doubt one of his parents would pick him up from school, and she could accost them then. Ushering all her students out the door, she rushed out and scanned the playground, quickly finding the boy that she found so intriguing. She wandered over to find him doubled over next to a _very_ large boy whom she knew to be in the other reception class and who had apparently just punched Harry. Before she could give this boy detention, however, her gaze caught the form of a very tall, thin woman who had come to greet the two young boys, well that was not the entire truth, Mrs. Lynn realised as she was now within hearing distance. The woman definitely greeted the large boy with a sickeningly sweet "Diddums how was your day at school, I am so proud of you, you have been doing so well, I think we should go get you some ice-cream, how does that sound?" to which the obese boy, who really was not in need of anything of the sort, replied in the affirmative. To Harry she merely said "boy get in the car now!"

Rushing to catch up with the long strides of the tall woman Mrs. Lynn yelled out "excuse me ma'am could I talk to you for a moment?" the woman replied with a short sneer before walking back.

"What!" Mrs. Dursley asked sharply.

"I just wanted to talk to you about your son, he is simply amazing!" Mrs. Lynn said, despite her immediate dislike of the woman before her.

"Oh Diddums" Petunia Dursley cooed, pinching the cheek of her son who had followed closely behind her "I am so proud of you, we will definitely get you an extra scoop, what would you like?"

Dudley's reply was however cut off as Mrs. Lynn said quickly "I apologise, though I am sure your son here is exceedingly intelligent in his own right" at which point she coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "I doubt it" before continuing "but I was in fact referring to your other son, Harry, he is astonishing!"

At this point Petunia scowled and muttered "He is NOT my son!" wondering what _oddness_ the boy had shown this interfering woman she asked "what has the boy done now!" she said menacingly while glaring at Harry "I assure you whatever he has done he will be punished accordingly, is that all?" she mocked.

"Could you please inform Harry's parents that I wish to speak to them?" Mrs. Lynn replied, biting her tongue so as to not let loose a tirade on how arrogant this woman was.

"You can't. They're dead. It's not important anyway" her face had such a sour expression, as if she had just eaten about a thousand lemons "Good day to you" she said and with that she slammed the car door and promptly drove away.

Unable to contain her irritation any longer Mrs. Lynn yelled after the retreating car "I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!"

……….

Over the next few weeks Mrs. Lynn slowly began to test Harry's abilities, and he quite surpassed her expectations, sure she realised that he was intelligent, but in truth he was simply brilliant. She conducted this testing without the knowledge of what she later learned to be his Aunt and Uncle, and in fact without the knowledge of Harry himself, or so she believed. In truth she did not inform anybody as to what she was doing, she wanted to know the full extent of his talents before she proceeded.

Harry was not stupid though, far from it in fact, he _did_ realise that the work he did was much more advanced than the rest of his class, but he wasn't complaining it was much more challenging and exciting.

Although she could get him to do any work handed to him, he refused to speak openly with her, all she would ever hear was "yes, ma'am", "no, ma'am" she just couldn't get him to open up to her (6).

……….

"Oi!" a loud voice echoed in his ears "get up!" to which Harry merely groaned a muffled "no", only half awake.

"Ssssss" the low hiss that sounded in his ears was rather ominous and suspiciously disapproving. "Get up now, don't make me bite you!"

"Hmph, you wouldn't" Harry replied sleepily

"I will too! I am going to bite you, I am putting my jaws around your ankle, get up now or I _will _bite you" Adonia said provokingly.

"Go away" Harry muttered, though he did quickly concede to Adonia's demand as he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his ankle. "You didn't!" he said loudly, inspecting his foot for damage.

Though he could have sworn Adonia was chuckling "No" she said "I didn't, I just jabbed you with my tail. Though I have to admit biting you was becoming extremely tempting…"

"What have I done now?" Harry asked resignedly

"You have been ignoring me!" Adonia said peevishly.

"Have not!" Harry replied childishly

"Have too!"

"Have not!"

"Have too!"

"Fine! I'm sorry, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Harry said, attempting to placate her merely to end the childish argument.

"Well seeing as you have been ignoring me of late…" her eyes seemed to glare at him, as if daring him to contradict her statement. Seeing Harry was not about to say anything more, she continued "I wanted to show off my latest set of skin, isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes Adonia, stunning" Harry almost rolled his eyes, she really was vain to a fault, but he loved her anyway.

Harry was in fact almost late for school as Adonia proceeded to tell him about her previous few meals that she had obtained from the garden, in great detail and greatly exaggerated Harry was quite sure. (7)

For the first time since he had started school, which had been about eight months now, Harry had forgotten to bring a novel with him; though his forgetfulness was mainly due to Adonia's excessively long rant, which made Harry exceedingly late. He had long since exhausted the school's supply of books and he found that his memory served him a little too well, in that he could never seem to read a book twice as he knew exactly what was coming in the subsequent page. He felt there was little enjoyment in a novel if you knew the exact plot before you started reading it (8), he was therefore in a bit of a quandary – what on earth could he do during the break? He couldn't talk to the other children… Dudley had seen quite well to that as all the kids were scared of the bully Dudley and his gang, so if Dudley didn't like Harry, then _no one _could! Maybe he could just sneak in and do some extra work, yes, he decided, that's what he would do, it was always fun after all.

That is precisely what he did, he went in, got his Math's book out (Mrs. Lynn had slipped him an algebra book, Harry pretended not to notice because he enjoyed it so much). This is where Mrs. Lynn discovered him.

"Mr. Potter what on Earth are you doing inside on such a lovely day? Are you doing _Maths_?" she asked, shaking her head slightly – she had never met any child his age with such dedication.

"I am sorry ma'am" he replied timidly as if he were in a great deal of trouble, which indeed he _always_ seemed to be, so he thought he was yet again "I will leave then." he said with his head hanging low.

"No!" Mrs. Lynn said quickly "Stay if that is what you want to do… did you finish your latest novel already?" she asked

"Yes ma'am" Harry replied contritely

"Why don't you go and borrow another from the school library?" she questioned

He then muttered something that sounded like "I've read them all", but that couldn't be right she reasoned, after all, it was a _very_ big library. "Sorry, what did you say?" she repeated, sure she had misunderstood.

"I've read them all ma'am" he replied a bit louder.

Attempting to contain her amazement so as not to frighten him further she said "okay…" before she changed tact "How is your maths going then?"

"I am on the last page of the book you gave me" he said quietly

"Of the one I gave you last month?"

"No, the one you gave me yesterday"

Shocked, she tried to come up with another subject but she could think of none. She let her eyes wander around the room and they fell on her piano in the corner, now she knew how she could get him to open up to her – music.

"Well then Harry, I have a question for you, have you ever learned music?" she asked and in that instant knew she had hit spot on what he needed. His eyes lit up with the possibility of a new challenge, she could see the excitement evident on his face, well barely, he seemed quite proficient at hiding his emotions, but all he said was "no ma'am"

"Would you like me to teach you?" she questioned, it was at this point she saw the first real smile on Harry's face since she had met him, but he didn't speak, he merely nodded.

From this moment on Harry began to warm to Mrs. Lynn, he would go to her during every break and every lunch and it was thus that Harry found another activity, apart from reading that could take him away from the real world – playing the piano. He began to talk to her though only on trivial matters; they discussed just about every thing he had ever read, which was quite a considerable list, a great number of which she had not read herself. That was as far as the conversations would go, he would never talk about what was bothering him and she was by that time resigned to the fact. Nor did Harry ever mention the strange things that seemed to occur around him, he didn't even tell her how he ended up on the school building, well in fact _he_ didn't even know. Harry also chose to leave out the peculiar feelings he got often, they were very similar to the odd compulsion he had when he first found Adonia though they were seldom as strong; in the end as they occurred so often, he guessed it was just flights of fantasy by his overactive imagination.

Many possibilities as to what the boys problem was crossed her mind, even going so far as to guess abuse, but she never once saw a scar or scratch on him, apart from the one on his head which he assured her was from when he was a baby… so she eventually ruled this possibility out, in fact he _never_ had a scratch on him which she found to be exceedingly peculiar.

She only knew one thing about him for sure, and that was that he liked to keep to himself and that he never liked to be touched, he never wanted anybody to know how intelligent he was, not even his guardians. She acceded to this one wish, as much as it killed her to do it, she didn't want to lose his trust, besides which she had grown exceedingly fond of the boy.

As Harry grew older he allowed his abilities to show less and less, he did what was required of him and no more. Mrs. Lynn kept him occupied, she gave him advanced books in many subjects which he took home and completed in his free time in his cupboard, he also became very proficient at the piano, enjoying playing it above all else, except for maybe reading, well it was a bit of a toss up. Mrs. Lynn always found it moving when he played, he always seemed to bring tears to her eyes as his playing was so emotional and heart-felt.

Mrs. Lynn spirited him away after school on several occasions, telling the Dursley's it was for 'remedial lessons', when in fact she took him to the music conservatorium to complete the different grades of piano. Before long he had quite surpassed her ability to teach him and so she began to take him to lessons once a week after school, paying for them herself, the Dursleys didn't even seem to notice his absence.

……….

2nd of September 1990 (i.e. the year before Harry starts Hogwarts)

"Ah, Severus glad you could make it…" Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I apologise Headmaster, for being late. Some little urchin in my class was clumsy enough to make his cauldron blow up, splattering all over the entire class causing boils to erupt on every person it touched. I was not amused." Snape said with a dark scowl, so dark in fact you could see just how _un_-amused he was. "What is it you wished to speak to me about?"

"I was in fact wondering if you could do me a favour…" though by the inflection in Dumbledore's voice it was clear that this 'favour' was more of an order "could you show our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher around, it has been some years since she has been to this school, she also needs to be shown the teacher's lounge and quarters

"Why did you not choose me for DADA Professor Dumbledore? You know that is what I want to teach!" Snape said petulantly.

"You know very well _why_ Severus, now can I count on you to help her?" he said as he raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Headmaster, respectfully, why on earth would you choose me to do such a task? You know I never get along with anyone!" Snape said grouchily, resigned to the fact that Dumbledore would ignore his wishes.

"Never-the-less, I have chosen you for the task. You have the rest of the afternoon free, am I correct?" to which Snape gave no answer "Good, then I shall introduce you now" despite the lack of response from Snape.

"We are ready for you now!" Dumbledore said into the fireplace as he fire-called his new DADA Professor, moments later the woman emerged.

"Professor Snape I would like to introduce Julia Figg, our new DADA Professor; Julia this is Severus Snape, our Potions Professor, he will be showing you around. I hope you get settled in soon Julia, good day to you both as I have a lot of work to do" After they had both left Dumbledore reclined back in his chair, smirking as if he knew something that everybody else did not, which he often did.

"Come with me" Snape said as cordially as possible, which for him was a sharp snarl; Julia merely raised her eyebrows challengingly when his back was turned, 'this is going to be fun' she thought to herself.

"We do not need to be so formal with each other... Professor Severus Snape" she said the last in a mocking tone "what do they call you around here?"

"Professor Snape" he answered evenly without looking at her.

"Come on, you must have a nickname?" she said with surprise evident in her tone

"I do not." Snape answered while rolling his eyes, already tiring of this person, first she steals _his_ job, and then she asks these annoying questions, well suffice to say that Snape was _extremely_ peeved, to put it in the nicest terms possible.

"Then I will just have to make one up for you, hmmm let me think… 'Snap' seems appropriate because you like to snap a lot…" to which she received a glare "'Nappies'…"

At which point Snape let out a strained "Please stop!"

"'Rus'? No, I know 'Seviee!', yes I like that!" she said smiling, oh how she loved being annoying, especially to those with a permanent stick up their butt.

From Snape's expression it was quite clear that he found his new nickname significantly less than she did. He increased his pace as much as possible; it was in fact unlikely that a tour of Hogwarts had ever been completed in a smaller amount of time before.

His tour ended at her new quarters; as he was about to beat a hasty retreat she tried to strangle him… no, he realised after a couple of minutes she was _actually_ hugging him, he couldn't remember the last time he was hugged, it felt… nice… no definitely not it was dreadful how could he think such a thing! How dare this woman confuse him like that! He felt heat come to his face, 'now I'm blushing? What on earth was wrong with me, I _never_ blush… I better get out of here and quickly' he thought to himself, 'this woman is going to be the death of me', if he could see the future, which unfortunately he cannot, he would have been shocked to learn that it was precisely the opposite. (9)

"Thanks for the tour" she said smiling while he quickly turned and started to walk away, trying to hide his blush. His face rapidly turned to a different kind of red before he reached the end of the hallway, one of anger and irritation as Julia had yelled to him "See you later… Seviee!" before promptly running into her quarters and slamming her door, in giggles by the time she got inside 'that was too easy' she thought 'but _oh_ so much fun!'

After many minutes she finally got control of her giggles and resumed her proper adult persona before she saw the person she lived with saw her acting in such a childish manner, she would never live it down!

……….

**Notes, again… the favourite part of my day ;-P (what a sad life I do lead)**

(1) Out of interest tawny is defined as: "of an orange-brown colour tinged with gold"

(2) Any Stargate fans out there? If so did you catch the quote (or am I just a little bit too obsessive?)

(3) You dirty, dirty minded people (or is it just me?)

(4) I am using the JKR timeline to a certain extent (i.e. that Harry was born on 31 July 1980) however some info just doesn't add up (such as the age of Bill and Charlie) so I will be taking some liberties.

(5) For those who are unaware, apparently the schooling system in England goes like this: Primary is divided into – Infants and Juniors.

These are subdivided into Infants - Reception (age 4-5)

- Middles (age 5-6)

- Tops (age 6-7)

Junior school lasts for 4 years, ages 7 to 11 and are known unimaginatively as first year, second year, third year and fourth year!

This is just a random bit of information as I didn't know about it until I researched it… If you want to read any more information there is a very interesting article on schooling in England on the Harry Potter Lexicon by Diana Summers.

(6) Again, dirty! Why is it that I take everything I write to sound dirty, it's unintentional I assure you; Is there anyone else out there that thinks the way I do, or is it just my crazy mind? (Btw I mean 'open up to her' in an emotional sense) lol.

(7) To the reviewer who questioned whether Adonia ever ate… though I should point out that in the first chapter there was a point to it. From what I have read about snakes, they do not tend to eat a lot for starters, snakes apparently also do not feed when they are shedding, and in fact tend to hide away from their owners during this time (as Adonia did)

(8) Just out of interest I do not subscribe to this philosophy, personally, I love reading things over and over again, in fact my favourite book is quite warn through – too much reading… does anybody else get the idea that I just like writing notes, I have just started to ramble… on second thought I have been rambling since I started writing this…

(9) Take from that what you will (hehehe)

……….

I know this chapter is slow,

But I needed it for the flow

So in reviews don't hit low

… Ow!… I stubbed my toe?

Hmm… don't ever let me rhyme again!

So what did you all think of my two original characters, namely Julia… btw I do realise she sounds rather childish… but meh, so am I!


	3. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Well first off I would like to profusely apologise for the time it took to get this chapter up. Unfortunately life interfered… damn that life I say!

Thank you all so much for your reviews. Please feel free to do so, and I would greatly appreciate some suggestions or ideas to improve my writing as well (apart from updating more regularly of course…).

Oh and thank you to the reviewer who commented on the fact that Julia seems awfully cavalier about the fact that Vernon and Petunia left Harry for weeks on end! It is great to see someone paying such close attention to what I write, I really do appreciate it. In this case however there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for it, though you will have to wait for a few chapters for this to come out. Do you not also think it odd that in this chapter she seems to have absolutely no recollection of it? I will leave you with that thought…

This chapter is otherwise known as "The chapter not quite so long as originally intended, nor extending as far as originally intended. Though it is hoped the author is forgiven for such by the end of the chapter"

Oh dear I _really _need some sleep. At this point I would also like to apologise for my obscenely long Authors Notes, and for the craziness of this chapter... it perfectly suits my mood at the moment. Also I apologise for any grammatical errors in this chapter as I didn't have time to proof read it.

……….

"**Never be afraid to try – **

**amateurs built the ark **

**and professionals built the titanic."**

……….

Snape sat in his cold dungeon, a cauldron simmering in front of him, though it was difficult to tell which was simmering more, the cauldron… or Snape. It was Christmas Eve and Snape was missing dinner _again_, everywhere he turned that wretched woman was there! He could have sworn she just liked riling him up, he had never met a more infuriating woman in all his life, he wanted to strangle her. He was at present missing dinner merely to avoid her company, she always contrived a way to sit next to him and bother him non-stop.

We are of course speaking of none other than Julia Figg, and Snape _was_ right she did enjoy teasing him, so much so in fact that she had made a bit of a sport of it, trying to get rise out of him every night (1). She did not of course ever do anything cruel or mean, all that was ever needed to get him annoyed was some good-natured teasing. To anyone observing Snape when he was near Julia the scene _was_ rather amusing, the expressions and colour on his face would change rapidly, and it would almost always end up with Snape storming out of whatever room he was in, his body seething with rage. Nobody could ever seem to get Snape angrier than Julia could, which was quite peculiar indeed. Perhaps it was merely the fact that she used that infernal name for him whenever she could. Snape shuddered as he heard the annoying "Sevieee" bouncing around in his head.

Would this woman never leave him alone, even when he was not near her he could hear her chattering in his head, he was quite sure she was going to send him mad, if he wasn't already there.

He was rapidly shocked out of his reverie when the potion he had been concocting for Madam Pomfrey blew up in his face. "Argh!" he yelled, throwing the rest of the ingredients that he had in his hands into the cauldron's remains. Unsurprisingly this turned out to be a rather unwise move. The cauldron blew up again.

"I am so sick of that _woman_. Look what she is doing to me! I haven't blown up a cauldron in 21 years, and even then it wasn't my fault! Argh!" he yelled again "now I am talking to myself, I _am_ going crazy!" he paused "Oh dear" he sighed.

At this point he heard a soft knock at his door, assuming it was one of his good-for-nothing students he resumed his usual formidable posture and expression, and he said gruffly "come in" but no one did.

"Come in!" he said louder, but still no one.

"Euch" he muttered to himself as he got up, opening the door he yelled in a loud voice "WHAT?" but it seemed it was to nobody, at least he couldn't see anyone. It wasn't until he heard a soft "eeep" that he looked down… There below him was a young girl; she seemed much too small to be a first year, besides he didn't remember ever teaching her.

"What is it?" he asked sharply

The girl looked up at him with the biggest blue eyes he had ever seen, though they were filling with tears "read to me?" she asked quietly

"No!" he answered harshly at which point she burst into tears, after about ten minutes of glaring at her to stop, he found his usual response to children crying didn't work. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

He tried many things to shut her up, but nothing seemed to work… she was starting to give him a headache. In the end he decided to bribe her, giving her the contents of his pocket, which was a galleon – he was _really _desperate to shut her up.

To his surprise it worked… for a couple of minutes. She slipped her new found fortune into her pocket before pouting and asking again – "read to me?"

Snape sighed and said "NO! Now go find someone else!" and with that he slammed the door, but alas he could not drown out her incessant bawling, it was quite disconcerting when trying to make a potion.

Fifteen minutes later, she was still outside her door, and still crying loudly. He wasn't quite sure how she could cry as much as she had and not get dehydrated. 'she will go eventually, I can wait' he thought to himself.

Five minutes later he had changed his mind 'how bad can it be, it can't be a very long book, all I have to do is read it and she will go away' apparently with all the noise, he had quite taken leave of his senses.

He peeked out the door, making sure nobody else was around before rapidly saying to her, "Do you promise to shut up if I do?" to which she answered with a nod "get in here then, quickly!" he opened up the door and she came skipping through a huge smile on her face, her tears instantly forgotten now that she had her way.

With one last effort to avoid the inevitable he asked "You are about three or so, can't you read it yourself?" he obviously didn't have a lot of knowledge of children.

"I'm four!" she said proudly "and no I want you to read it"

Snape shook his head, resigned to his fate 'bested by a four year old, there really is something wrong with me!'

She handed him the book "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" by Dr Seuss, "well it doesn't sound that bad" he thought to himself before she jumped on his lap and snuggled into him. "Ack! What are you doing?"

"Just read!" she said exasperatedly, I mean really, didn't he know that she had to sit on his lap when he read to her; he was a bit of a silly adult.

……….

As he reached the end he realised _just_ how wrong he had been. "And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore." He winced for what must have been about the thousandth time while reading this book before continuing "Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." (2)

"Finally!" he muttered, he had seriously underestimated how long the book was, and just how painful he would find it to read. "Will you go now!" he said rather angrily, after all he was just forced to read a children's book!

"Yes" she said in a voice that seemed to Snape as if it were overly happy and secretly mocking. He stared at her as if willing her to get off his now numb legs, but she only stared back before she reached up and gave him a big sloppy kiss and a hug, neither of which he appreciated.

After that display he quickly lifted her off him carried her outside the door and placed her on the ground. "Thanks" she said before scampering off, book in hand.

"Euch" he muttered, suddenly exceedingly weary "I am _never_ doing that again!" before he rambled up to his bed and promptly falling asleep, after all, the potion could wait.

The young girl entered her rooms, which had been quite torn apart, to find her mother running around, throwing things everywhere. "CATHERINE FIGG!" Julia yelled as soon as she saw her daughter "where on earth have you been, you scared me half to death!"

……….

Unfortunately for Snape, Catherine quite liked the sound of his voice ok little in joke… I absolutely adore Alan Rickman's voice it's just so sexy… hmm I'm sad lol. when he read her story, so on Boxing Day she returned, a new book clutched tightly in her hands. It took about an hour for Snape to give in this time but she eventually wore him down… after all he really was quite funny when his face went all red.

……….

Harry woke up; great numbers loomed over him as he opened his eyes. He had fallen asleep in his math book again. He really ought to stop doing that, it wasn't a pleasant position to lie in, and not a comfortable way to wake up, though he supposed anything was better than the Dursley's usual wake up call.

Life had surprisingly been treating him rather well; he had become rather adept at hiding emotions from his relatives and increasingly more nimble, able to avoid them most of the time. Harry was therefore able to avoid most punishments, though not all.

He had celebrated Christmas for the first time in his young life, with Mrs. Lynn, though she insisted he call her Jane as she was no longer his teacher, though he always managed to forget. Though it was not in fact _on_ Christmas day, it still meant a lot to him. She gave him a copy of the novel "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville, he treasured this above all, he had never before owned his own book, and he adored it. Having nothing else to offer Harry had managed to cook up some biscuits when Mrs. Dursley went next door for a gossip, a little embarrassed though, he didn't tell her that he had made them himself.

Adonia found his preoccupation with his studies to be rather amusing, though she hastily reminded him if ever he forgot to talk to her for extended periods of time. She had grown quite a bit and was now about 150cm (approx. 5 foot) in length, so she was rather imposing. Her large size made it increasingly more difficult to keep her a secret and made outside excursions with Harry impossible.

At that moment he heard a rather loud knocking on the front door, as it was exceedingly early, Harry was rather confused. He wasn't about to answer it though, the Dursleys would not be happy if he did, then people would actually know that he lived there. The Dursleys didn't come however and the knocking was repeated; eventually Harry heard the characteristic thumping of his Uncle's footsteps. He brought his head back into his room, and closed his door so there was only a small slit through which he could see.

Vernon grudgingly opened the front door, seeing only a rather diminutive woman, one whom he did not know at that, consequently his greeting was rather gruff and perfunctory.

To his sub-standard greeting the woman said politely "Excuse me sir, I was wondering if I could have a few words with Harry Potter… might that be possible?"

"Boy!" the tone of his voice rapidly changed at the sharp look she gave him when he called Harry boy. "There is someone here who wants to speak to you, could you come here for a moment?"

That had to be the most polite request he had ever heard from the Dursleys, well if we are being honest, it was the only _request_ he had ever received from the Dursleys. He recognised the woman, but was completely baffled as to her presence at the Dursley's house. He quickly walked to the door and stood there for a couple of minutes, an uncomfortable silence developing between the three of them. Eventually Mrs. Lynn raised her eyebrow and said with a voice edged in steel, which was in stark contradiction to her height "Sir, may I speak with him _alone._"

With a short scowl Vernon gave Harry a slight push out the door and then closed it in her face.

Jane Lynn raised her eyebrow, asking in a slightly shocked voice "Are they always like that?"

Not really wanting to speak about it, Harry changed the subject "Not that I am not happy to see you, but what are you doing here Mrs Lynn?" he asked inquiringly

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Jane?" his tactic had the desired effect as she rapidly remembered her purpose for being there "Harry, I have some wonderful news for you…" she smiled "do you remember when I took you to the entrance tests for the grammar schools? Well it so happens that you have been accepted to both the Grammar Schools you applied for, and what's more they both offered you a scholarship. Not only that but you have also been invited to study at the Royal Conservatorium of Music! You are going to have some difficult choices ahead of you…"

They had, however, underestimated the lengths that Vernon would go to hear their conversation. He was at present on his hands and knees, listening through the mail flap; after hearing the gist of their conversation, he began to get up, which took _quite_ a bit of effort. When he had once again reached his feet he flung open the door, his face as red as a tomato looked like it was quite ready to explode, the veins in his temples were throbbing, and his teeth were grinding together. He managed to speak, his voice dripping in anger "HE WILL NOT BE GOING"

He then turned his angry gaze on Harry; although Mrs. Lynn didn't know what that look meant, Harry certainly did. "Boy! Get inside!" Harry scampered in and went straight to his cupboard, it was better to obey him. Then his punishment at least had the _chance_ of being less painful.

Their voices where so loud now that he could hear them clearly.

"But Sir you wouldn't have to pay any more than an ordinary school, he has been awarded a scholarship!" she said, trying to contain her irritation. Her restraint didn't last for much longer.

"What gives you the right to take him to these sorts of things? I did not give my permission, and would never have done so!" He growled at her

"That boy is the most intelligent person I have ever met! If I wasn't going to do something about it then who was!" she screamed back, her reserve suddenly gone.

"No one, that's the point! You had no right! NO RIGHT! Now get off my property, and stay away from him! He is going to Stonewall High and that's the end of it!" He yelled and slammed the door once again in her face.

For the next couple of months Vernon Dursley had the worst case of acne he had ever had in his entire life, though he did not connect the two.

……….

"So?" Julia asked as she plonked down next to Snape at the teachers table during dinner.

"So what?" he replied grumpily. He thought he was safe from her presence that night, as he somehow managed to sit in between Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall. Before long, however, she had managed to convince Professor Flitwick that he was feeling and icy cold draft on his knees, and gallantly offered her seat up as a replacement, consequently this placed her next to Snape and his rather 'chatty' conversation.

"Why are you so grumpy?" she asked

"I'm not grumpy I'm annoyed." He replied

"Well then, why are you annoyed?" she continued persistently

"I am annoyed because people keep asking me stupid questions." He said, grinding his teeth.

Julia rolled her eyes, knowing it was something else as he was extremely tense, in this state it wouldn't be anywhere near as fun to tease him, it would just be too easy. So she continued watching him, he seemed to grimace a lot, and it took her a long time to figure out the cause, McGonagall and Dumbledore were having an animated, though quiet conversation about Harry Potter coming to Hogwarts, in fact the whole school seemed to be talking about it, and every single time Harry Potter's name was mentioned within hearing distance he grimaced. Attempting her theory, Julia started a new conversation with Snape "So… I hear Harry Potter is coming to Hogwarts in the next school year" she smiled, catching his dark look turning even stormier if that were possible. "Now…" she poked him "you are going to tell me what you have against Harry Potter!" she raised her eyebrows at him, refusing to look away.

He tried to ignore her penetrating gaze for as long as possible, but she really was quite a formidable opponent eventually he answered "No."

"Well…" she said "I am going to annoy you until you tell me"

"You annoy me anyway, so why should I care?" he replied

"Oh I can be much more annoying, just you wait, you'll break down eventually." She smirked

Julia proceeded to torment Snape every other moment throughout the rest of dinner, alternating between poking and saying "tell me!" By the end of dinner he still had not broken so she changed her tactic. Following him as he walked rapidly out of the Great Hall she started repeating the name Harry Potter over and over again behind him. By the time they had reached the dungeons he was positively seething "Would you desist!" he yelled "Go away! I am not going to tell you. Ever."

"Hmph" Julia sighed "tell me?"

Snape growled and slammed his door in her face; it was particularly quiet after that so he assumed she had left.

Julia however was still standing outside the door, preparing to get a little revenge… she charmed the door to start serenading Snape with a song with terrible lyrics to the tune of "that's amore" after that she headed back up to her rooms, though paused to repeat the same procedure to the door of his room.

The first time it began to sing he was shocked, the second he quickly became irate, after trying all manner of curses, spells, jinxes and even a couple of potions he still could not get it to stop. Eventually he walked out, seething as he stepped over the broken remnants of his door, and headed off to his rooms to get some peace.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he walked through the door of his room, to complete silence. Unfortunately for him he didn't bring the particular potion he had used on the last door to blow it up, which presented a significant problem. As soon as the door shut however it began to sing the same infuriating song that went something like this:

"When you heara that name

You scream out and flame

Harry Potter

Well you will giva in

Or I will ki-ick your shin

Harry Potter"

"Argh" he yelled trying to get out into the hallway unsuccessfully as she had also conveniently placed a locking charm on the door. In the end he resorted to burying his head under his pillow which muffled the sound somewhat, and he eventually fell into a restless slumber only to be awakened by the same song early the next morning, though the sound was magnified somewhat.

The anger he felt from last night had not dissipated significantly and it flared up once again when the irritating strains once again reached his ears. He went to the door in a blind rage and once again throwing curses at it, after one particularly brutal hex the door exploded loudly, sending shards of wood into the hallway. "Ha!" he yelled triumphantly

"Severus what _is_ wrong?" apparently his explosion had caused a commotion amongst the teachers as they all ran out in their nightgowns, which was _not_ a pretty sight on some of them I might add.

"Why pray tell did you just blow up your door?" McGonagall added, trying admirably to withhold her grin.

"Um…" Snape coughed embarrassedly "Ah… someone locked the door, and… it was singing to me…" he finished lamely

"Why didn't you just use alohomora?" Julia asked with an impudent grin and a raised eyebrow at which point she could have sworn she saw Snape blush slightly.

"I… ah didn't think of it…" he said, in his rage he had not quite been thinking straight.

The teachers all shook their heads and made their way back to their rooms, Julia walked straight past him humming something that sounded suspiciously like 'that's amore'.

Snape merely growled and stalked away.

……….

"Up! Get Up! Now!" Petunia Dursley screeched.

Harry awoke with a start. His Aunt rapped on the door again.

"Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking towards the kitchen and the fry pan being put on the cooker. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorbike in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before but he could not rightly recall when.

Adonia slithered over his feet as she went beneath the house in search of some food.

His Aunt was back outside the door.

"Are you up yet?" she demanded.

"Nearly" said Harry.

"Well get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon and don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday"

Harry groaned.

"What did you say boy!" his Aunt snapped through the door.

"Nothing…"

How could he have forgotten, it was the Dud's birthday… what a way to ruin a perfectly good Saturday. He felt a little sorry for that particular Saturday, for the Dud to be born on that day, well the Saturday would probably have preferred it to be doomsday… poor Saturday.

At the sound of a loud clang from one of the pots Petunia was cooking with, Harry drew himself away from his somewhat whimsical thoughts, and emerged from his bed with haste, ready to endure his least favourite day of the year.

……….

Some hours later, he felt considerably better, for the first time in his life he was going to the zoo, the day was definitely turning out better than he expected. Harry felt, afterwards that he should have known it was all too good to last.

As he walked into the reptile house he felt a peculiar sort of headache coming on, he could hear whispers everywhere and they were terribly disconcerting. He also felt like he was being pulled in about a hundred different directions at once.

The Dursleys and Piers Polkiss, who was Dudley's guest for the day stopped in front of a rather large snake, and in his distraction Harry almost ran into them. They were all staring intently at a rather large boa constrictor, the snake had no such interest in them, it was too busy sleeping and no matter what they tried it wouldn't wake up. Eventually they simply gave up and moved on, though Harry stayed where he was, he could have sworn as soon as they turned their backs the snake looked up and winked at him. If it hadn't been for Adonia he would have been more surprised, but as it was he still thought Adonia was the only one who could speak; but as he focused on this one snake the faint whispers surrounding him began to narrow down to one soft voice, though he couldn't quite catch what it was saying he pushed his head closer only to jump in surprise, it was singing "I Go to Rio", a song in stark contrast to it's formidable exterior.

"Excuse me…" Harry asked "can you understand me?"

The snake stared at him and nodded

"But how… Why is it that snakes can speak to me?" he asked more to himself than anyone else. When he first found Adonia he was too young to comprehend the difference, and as he got older he took the fact that she could speak for granted. He never stopped to question it.

"I don't know… why don't you tell me?" the Snake replied obtusely

"Well have you ever met anyone else who can?" Harry tried again

"No" the Snake replied succinctly.

"Watch out" the Snake said, before Harry was pushed to the ground by Dudley as Piers had yelled "DUDLEY! MR DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"

As Dudley and Piers pushed their faces against the glass it promptly disappeared, leaving the inhabitants of each side relocated to the opposite side. The glass reappeared, leaving both where they belonged, the Snake free, and Dudley and Piers in a cage in a zoo.

"Thanksss amigo" the snake murmured to Harry as it slithered away.

"You're welcome" Harry replied, baffled.

Unfortunately for Harry, Vernon Dursley heard Harry's parting comment to the snake, or at least he heard him hissing, so Vernon decided to take the days mishap out on him.

This particular mishap caused Harry his worst punishment to date, and considering the violence of his past punishments, one can only conclude that it was bad indeed.

……….

By the time Harry had fully recovered from his ordeal it was the Summer Holidays, school, his haven, had ended and the Dursleys seemed to find all manner of menial chores for Harry to accomplish, as such he hardly ever got a moment to himself and always appeared to be covered in dirt, conversely the house had never looked so clean.

Although he new it was impossible for him to go to either of the Grammar Schools he had got into, nor to the conservatorium he still wished it were possible. Though Stonewall he supposed would be good enough, at least he would be away from Dudley, that was the main thing.

His hopes were renewed at the appearance of a social worker, apparently Mrs. Lynn had filed a complaint against the Dursley's for their behaviour towards Harry, but as she new very little about the extent of what _actually_ went on in that house, added to the fact that there was no evidence of maltreatment, other than the fact that he was a trifle skinny, this however could be for a number of reasons. As such after a couple of days they left the Dursley's, giving them only a stern warning. Harry was consequently punished for the appearance of the social worker, though he had no say in her presence at their doorstep.

Harry awoke to a strange smell, it was quite awful really, so he stumbled out of his room in search of the vile smell. He found his Aunt was marinating his 'new school uniform' in dye – oh he was going to get off to a _great_ start at his new school!

He slumped down in his chair as Dudley and Vernon came through the kitchen door their noses scrunched up in response to the foreign smell. As soon as they sat down they heard the mail flap open.

"Boy! Get the mail!" Vernon glared at Harry.

Knowing it was unwise to argue he merely got up to fetch the mail. When he picked the pile up he flicked through them, finding a couple of letters for the Dursleys and one for… him. He had never received a letter before, in shock he started walking towards the kitchen, ready to hand over the rest of the letters. In a moment of mental abstraction, for which he would never quite forgive himself, he walked in with his letter still clutched in his hand, and it was subsequently taken away from him and no matter how much he objected he couldn't get it back before it was destroyed by his Uncle.

-----

Harry Potter tossed and turned as he lay on the cold, hard floor, his black and blue chest and shoulders making his present position all the more uncomfortable. In a few minutes he would turn eleven, though it was not much of a birthday. He and the Dursleys were at that time staying in the dingiest shack imaginable, perched on a small rock island just near the coastline. To make matters worse a dreadful storm had manifested and Harry of course was under the thinnest, most ragged blanket imaginable. So thin was this blanket it was almost invisible, in fact it may even be plausible to suggest that he would have been better without said 'blanket'.

He could not really complain though, this was probably one of his better birthdays, at least he wasn't being yelled at, or worse yet, beaten up. That had happened before.

He wasn't entirely sure, but he thought perhaps his Uncle had taken leave of his senses, they had driven away from the Dursley's house and had eventually ended up on this freezing lump of rock in the middle of the ocean, if that wasn't a sign of insanity he didn't know what was. This was all because of Harry, or rather because someone refused to allow the fact that Harry hadn't received a certain letter. They were _very_ persistent.

Harry was staring at the lighted dial of Dudley's watch as he waited for his eleventh birthday to arrive. The seconds ticked closer and closer, and as the time ticked over to midnight on the day of his birthday, a massive bang was heard, rattling the walls of the rather unstable building that surrounded them.

Another bang was heard, though a large crack was accompanied with it. This time Harry watched as the dust dislodged itself from the roof and fell down around him, this worried him considerably as he believed the only thing that was holding this particular building together, very likely _was_ the dust. In his present pre-occupation he missed the entry of a rather ragged looking half giant. This was quite a feat in itself as it was exceedingly difficult to miss this particular man's presence anywhere, when taking into account his considerable size.

Harry was quickly startled back to reality as the half giant boomed his name. 'boomed' is a particularly apt word for the way in which this man spoke as it indeed rattled the building when he yelled. "HARRY!" the walls shook again "Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby" the giant said, who appeared to be wiping tears out of his eyes "an' look at yer, you look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mum's eyes." He sighed, apparently caught up in memories. As such he did not notice Harry flinch as he lay his huge hand on Harry's shoulder.

Although not entirely comfortable with the huge stranger as he had an overly familiar manner of touching him, Harry was still as inquisitive as he had ever been and so asked the giant all manner of questions.

"Excuse me sir, but who are you?" Harry asked meekly

"Right yeh are, I haven't introduced myself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts" Hagrid replied politely, well as polite as he could muster.

"And this 'Hogwarts' is a school of some description?" Harry asked, beginning to get excited, perhaps Mrs. Lynn had sent this person here and he would get to go to a grammar school after all, any school other than Stonewall, even.

"O' course, Hogwarts is the bes' school of…" Just what this was a school of, however was cut off as Hagrid was rudely interrupted by Mr. Dursley "He will not be going to any school of the kind! I advise you at this moment to give up! Now get out you are trespassing on private property."

Harry's anger at this moment went up ten-fold, and before Hagrid had time to yell at the Dursleys, Harry asked as civilly as he could "and me going to this school, that would mean that I would be away from them?" he jerked his thumb at the Dursleys.

Hagrid's placid nature did not quite grasp the animosity behind that particular question so he answered, misinterpreting the question entirely "well no, o' course not! Don't worry, yeh would still see them over the holidays… but fer the most o' the year, yeh wouldn't see them."

Harry contemplated this for all of five seconds "why is it that you have come here?"

"The headmaster, Albus Dumbledore sent me ter help yeh get your supplies" Hagrid replied, his chest swelling with pride.

"Well let's go then" Harry replied with eagerness

"He will not be go…" Vernon was cut off by Harry's hard glare.

"ah… it's a bit late, we will leave in the mornin'." Hagrid replied with a smile at Harry's enthusiasm. At which point he directed Harry to the sagging couch, covered him in all the blankets he could find and left him to sleep, which he did, almost immediately. Hagrid then went over to the Dursley's, who had remained relatively quiet up until this point.

"He is not going. He does not know about your strange world of freaks, and it is going to stay that way!" Vernon sneered

"HE WHAT?" Hagrid thundered, though despite his booming voice, Harry lay asleep, blissfully unaware of the argument that waged until the early hours of the morning, by which time Hagrid, usually of a placid nature, was seething. The Dursleys by that time had been exiled to another room so as not to interfere with his forthcoming explanations.

"Mornin' Harry!" Hagrid said smilingly as Harry opened his eyes "there's a couple 'o things I shoulda told yeh las' night that I plain forgot" he paused and scratched his beard "but first here's yer letter." After handing the letter over Hagrid walked to the window and appeared to be penning a note, though Harry was soon too preoccupied with the substance of the letter he had been handed to pay any more attention to Hagrid's further actions.

……….

Later that day, as Harry sat in a train bound for London, he really did not know what to believe. That he believed his companion believed this story of witches and wizards he was certain. But he was not sure that what his companion believed to be true was what _he himself_ believed to be true. Of course all the studies he had done previously supported the idea that this was merely fiction, though he had no idea what this person would have to gain by telling him a falsehood. On the other hand the man called Hagrid's story about his parents seemed to add to the veracity of this odd man. By this point his thoughts had quite thoroughly confused him, so he decided to not be prejudiced in his thoughts either way until sufficient, undeniable truth was presented to him to support either assumption.

Diagon Alley, however, would have to be too elaborate a ruse to be a scam. He therefore reluctantly concluded that this world of witches and wizards must be undeniable fact, despite his many studies that proved the contrary.

Harry had indeed been too caught up in his thoughts to pay much attention to what he was passing or where he was going. He was rapidly brought back to reality when he stopped in front of a white building. It was not the size of this building, though it was considerable, nor the fact that it was ten times larger than half the surrounding buildings that caught his attention. A rather ghastly looking creature, with long limbs and digits, it was sharp and clever looking, and Harry decided at that moment that goblins were not something that you'd want to anger. Harry's observation of the poem on the second door they walked through reaffirmed that notion.

From living with the Dursleys for such a large amount of time Harry had learnt not to ask questions, but just this once Harry exerted himself to do so. "Why is it that we are here Hagrid?" he asked.

"To get yer money o' course" Hagrid explained.

"I have money?" Harry asked incredulously.

"o' course. Yer parents did leave yeh somthin' after all." Hagrid replied.

Harry merely raised his eyebrows and remained silent until they once again returned to the surface, though he paid close attention to the interactions between the goblins and customers. As he walked to the door with Hagrid, Harry changed his mind and stopped, saying quietly "Excuse me Hagrid, do you mind if I just speak to Griphook again for a moment" at Hagrid's nod he walked back. Harry did not notice the strange look Hagrid gave him at his request, he was once again too busy thinking.

Harry approached the goblin once again, outwardly displaying quite a bit more confidence than he inwardly felt. After conversing with Griphook for a certain amount of time he was handed a bundle of papers which he took over to the waiting Hagrid. Harry was, as usual quite unaware of the reactions of those around him, and as such he did not notice the baffled look from Hagrid, nor the mute look of respect from Griphook.

Seeing that Harry wasn't about to answer him, Hagrid just let it go and walked on to continue their business, Dumbledore's package tucked safely inside one of his innumerable coat pockets, pockets that only Hagrid could navigate.

……….

As Harry entered Flourish and Blotts he was spellbound (no pun intended… well maybe there was…), so many books at his disposal, none of which he had ever heard of or read before... this would be fun.

Hagrid found it exceedingly difficult to drag Harry away from the store and consequently to keep him from buying out the entire store. In the end Hagrid only succeeded partially, Harry walked out of that store with a considerably greater number of books than the school booklist required.

-----

"Seviee!" Julia said in her most annoying sing-song voice "can I talk to you for a minute?" to which he merely grunted.

"Please?" she whined.

"I'd like to help you out…" He replied "Which way did you come in?"

She rolled her eyes at his childish antics before saying "I've been thinking…"

"So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey…" Snape replied scornfully.

"You know, I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls… then I met you!" She replied challengingly, daring him to continue their childish insults.

Unfortunately for Julia, he did not rise to the challenge, but she was now determined to get under his skin, and if it took another twenty stupid insults, well then she would attempt it!

"If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!" she started off, but to no avail.

"When you get to the men's room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in." still no reaction.

"I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying." Finally! A reaction

"Hey, here's a hint…" Snape said glaring fully at Julia now "If I don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?"

"You know, you are really anti-social" Julia said changing tact

"I am not anti-social. I just don't like you" Snape said peevishly.

"You are going to end up a cranky old man, alone and unloved. Well I suppose they do say opposites attract...so I sincerely hope that you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. Not likely though"

"Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn." He said, rolling his eyes "I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?"

"I don't think you are a fool." Julia smiled sweetly before continuing "But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?"

"You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for!" Severus replied smugly

"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you?" she retorted back again

"Marry me?" Severus replied

"WHAT…?" she said, stopped in her tracks

"Thought that would shut you up" Snape smirked

"Hmph" she said, still thinking, unwilling to be bested. She stood there for a few minutes trying to get her thoughts back on track before she said "Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them" before high-tailing it out of Snape's potions room, her laughter echoing down the hallway as she ran.

Snape stood there for a significant amount of time, thoroughly confused as to what had transpired. When he finally realised that he was standing in the middle of the room as if he had been stupified he heard someone laughing at him. He turned around and around trying to find the annoying little cretin who was making fun of him, but couldn't find anyone. It took him many minutes to realise that it was in fact him who was laughing; when he did, he quickly stifled it, lest someone overhear him acting in such an undignified manner.

Notes:

D'oh I was going to be good this time, and here I am one paragraph in, I just couldn't resist… Dirty! (or is that just too easy?)

I do not own this book, if I did I would be an amazingly cool writer.


	4. The Incredible Shrinking Appendage

Hmmm… this story is getting more and more implausible as I write it, it really is just tongue-in-cheek with a bit of storyline thrown in… oh well it's fun to write it anyway… when I get the chance that is…

You thought I was gone for good didn't you? Nope sorry you will have to suffer again.

**Disclaimer: **I am not JKR (oh pity!), so I wrote this little ditty.I tried to write something witty… but it ended up sounding #! … hmm don't know if I can say that word with my rating; anyway the gist of it was I am not JKR, big surprise there. BTW I thought I told you never to let me rhyme ever again… too late, and now you suffer the consequences mwhahaha (sorry minor psycho moment).

My goodness this story is crazy, I just reread it for the first time in many, many months and oh boy, it is so eccentric and over the top, even _my_ brain is not sure whether this is meant to be a plot or a parody, I suppose I will have to settle for a hybrid mixture of the two. Btw sorry I took so long to get this up, life took over my life, rather tragic really. How dare it do that…?

--

"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut." Will Rogers (A/N Too bad I don't listen to sage advice)

--

Harry soon found that balancing his extremely large and odd shaped parcels was becoming increasingly more difficult, so much so he exerted himself to ask Hagrid for a magical means by which to carry them. Hagrid, who had previously been unaware of Harry's plight due to a daydream about dragons, quickly realised the appropriateness of the question as the parcels hit the ground with one almighty bang. They quickly grabbed them up again before they could be trodden on and, after a moments thought, Hagrid led him to a rather dilapidated looking shop. It seemed to Harry that the only reason the building was still standing was by sheer magic, and in retrospect, he laughed to himself, it probably was.

As they walked into the shop Harry felt as if his lungs were clogging up, the dust was so thick, a while later, after a minor coughing fit and a bit of spluttering, his watering eyes finally cleared and he was able to actually take in his surroundings.

At that moment a man with sharp eyes and an obscenely long mullet popped his head out of a dusty pile of bags. Harry was so surprised at the man's sudden movement that he took a step backwards, managing to trip over a trunk and land with a thump on another. The man's eyes squinted into a glare that lightened considerably when Hagrid apprised the man of their business there; in fact Harry was quite sure the shopkeeper's eyes took on a hungry gleam that distinctly disturbed him. It seemed that Hagrid was equally disturbed as he took a subconscious step backward with an audible gulp.

Taking a deep breath, managing to suppress the choking instinct, Harry said in a loud voice to break the rather uncomfortable silence that had permeated the room "Hagrid, I'm feeling rather tired" though he was feeling nothing of the kind, "perhaps if you finished off the last of our shopping while I do this we could get it done faster?"

To Hagrid's credit, he did ask "are you sure?" all the while edging towards the door. At Harry's nod he let out a loud sigh of relief and very near bolted for the door.

After Hagrid's hasty exit, Harry got down to business, immediately asking the salesman "so… just how much _do_ these bags carry?"

The salesman, seeing this seemingly innocent young boy, took it as his chance to pounce on his inexperience. With a sickeningly sweet smile he descended on Harry, immediately taking him to the most expensive bag on offer, a compartmentalised bag that had sections large enough to suffice as rooms; each time the trunk was opened it showed a different section. Harry attempted not to show his interest, and managed to succeed, the years of practice of suppressing his emotions with the Dursley's serving him well.

A considerable time later Harry walked out with two bags, a small inexpensive one, and inside this one the most expensive bag in the store, leaving the salesman completely confused as to who had got the better deal. It wasn't until many hours later that the salesman realised that he had been hoodwinked into selling it for three times less than the original value he had proposed.

--

To keep his thoughts from wandering in the direction of the Dursley household, and what awaited him there, Harry asked Hagrid as many questions as he could. By the end of the trip back, Harry had learnt far more than he ever wanted to know about flesh eating slug repellant, among other things. One thing _had_ peaked his interest though, Hagrid had told him of something called the 'Knight Bus', he would definitely keep that in mind for the trip to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, after all he wouldn't even dream of asking the Dursley's to take him there, they would flatly refuse at the best of times.

--

Severus Snape was in a right strop (1), and he had been all day, so it was little wonder that the students in his class were well behaved, even the Weasley twins wouldn't dare step a toe out of line when he was in one of his moods. Despite his abnormally obedient and quiet class, Snape had managed to give no more than ten detentions, and that was in his first class alone.

It wasn't precisely the students' fault, after all who would be able to contain their laughter if Snape walked in the room with a sparkly blue hairdo that was spiked up at odd angles. I mean really? Not their fault in the least.

It was little wonder that by the end of the day Snape had given a grand total of fifty two detentions, and as previously mentioned was in a right strop. The majority of the day he had spent hunting down one person, the person most singularly gifted with the power of annoying the hell out of Severus Snape, Julia Figg.

She had somehow contrived to avoid him all day, finding excuses to move her classes to different rooms that he could not find no matter how hard he tried, even going so far as to eat her meals away from the Great Hall.

Suddenly it struck him, he knew where her rooms were! He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before, in no time at all he was at her door, banging on it so hard, it was indeed surprising that it didn't break.

"You!" he said as soon as the door was opened, though surprisingly this comment was not directed at Julia "what are you doing here!" he said peevishly

"What happened to your hair? You look silly." The little girl giggled, while Snape just glared at her

"I am looking for Julia Figg and I don't have time for your nonsense" Snape growled

"Mummy!" the little girl yelled "there's a blue headed man at the door for you"

Snape grimaced and muttered something that sounded like "I should have known, how else could you be so annoying? You have _her_ as a mother of course."

"Why Severus, whatever are you doing here at this hour?" Julia said as she walked in the room "and might I say, I really like the new hair style" to her credit she managed to say this with a completely straight face.

"Change it back now!" Snape growled

"Why, whatever do you mean?" she replied innocently

Snape glared fiercely at her "I want my hair fixed, back to its normal colour now!"

"_Fine_" she smirked mischievously as she raised her wand and muttered a few words

"Argh! I thought I asked you to change it back to the way it was!" he yelled

"I did exactly what you asked Severus, you asked me to change it back to its normal colour, and it is, it is black, you also stated you wanted your hair fixed… so I _fixed_ it, it is cut nice and short, and for once in your life it is clean! So there we are _fixed_! No need to thank me" she murmured as she rather physically pushed him out the door, while he was still in too much shock to respond.

--

"Boy! Get out here this instant!" Harry stepped out of his cupboard to the livid face of his Aunt Petunia "How dare you go relax, when you haven't even completed your chores! There are _still_ dirty dishes on the sink and I told you to do that this morning. Do it NOW! I will not have you bludging (2) around in this house."

"Yes Aunt Petunia" Harry muttered, seething on the inside, he had in fact done the washing up that morning, his cousin had just been eating so much food lately that a huge pile of dishes had already accumulated since. Though Harry was quite sure even Dudley could not eat _that_ much, he suspected that Dudley had just dirtied most of the plates to spite him.

Ever since he had returned from Diagon Alley the Dursley's seemed to come up with hundreds of pointless chores for him to do, apparently convinced that the house was never clean enough. As such it was a full week before Harry had finished the textbooks he had bought, and not long after he became restless once again, he was itching for more information, but with three weeks to go he knew the wait would be interminable. He could wait… really! At least that's what he kept telling himself.

The next day he found himself on the way to London again, he was reasonably sure the Dursleys would not notice him gone, well even if they did, he had a contingency plan.

With a considerable fortune in his vault, and he did know precisely how much that fortune _was_ from his account details that he had received from Griphook, and no supervision to curtail his spending, Harry literally bought every book that was on offer at Flourish and Blotts.

The shop owner, so delighted with the boys spending habits threw in a couple of bookcases for free, of course it also helped that it was Harry Potter doing the spending.

--

Many hours, and a considerable fortune later, Harry Potter arrived back at the Dursleys', taking a deep breath he walked into the house, no rampaging uncle, good sign.

He spoke too soon, as not a moment later Vernon Dursley barreled through the door heading straight for Harry "BOY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" he spat. Harry winced, he was really in for it this time.

--

"Severus Snape!" Julia demanded in her best teacher voice "No more games! I demand you to tell me what you have against Harry Potter!" Seeing Snape's exasperated look, she caved a little "look, if you tell me now, I promise to leave you alone for the rest of your life." She smirked at him "tempted aren't you?"

Snape was in fact completely sick of her, and rightly so, considering the fact that she hadn't left him alone in weeks. This can be the only excuse we can attribute his next action, either that or sheer lunacy. Though on second consideration it was probably both, the latter being caused by the former.

"Fine, you know what! I'm am sick and tired of you, if this is what it takes to get you to go away, then so be it! Come with me!" he said and began walking away briskly, finally ending up at his quarters. Opening up his cupboard, he pulled a rather odd shaped item out before setting it on his table which he rapidly cleaned off with one sweep of his wand.

"This is a pensieve" he began, as if instructing a particularly inept student. Julia didn't reply, unwilling to tempt her good luck.

"And this is what you want to know." he said, placing some memories in the bowl. "Speak of this to no one and most of all remember your promise, you will not bother me ever, _ever _again for the rest of my life. Understand?" at her nod he turned and sunk into a chair, pulling out a potions book to keep his mind from delving into why he had just offered his private memories up for _her_ perusal.

What Julia saw was not in the least what she expected; she had assumed there was some petty reason behind his obvious animosity. But she was wrong. What she saw was not even directly about Harry, but about his parents. She saw Snape's life as a child, being bullied by Harry's father, James and she viewed his friendship with Harry's mother, Lily. The love Snape had for Lily was obvious to Julia, and her understanding of Snape grew. Snape, in his irate state, had unintentionally let a few memories slip through that he had no intention of ever revealing to another living person… nor another dead person for that matter.

These memories struck Julia forcibly, managing to raise both her ire and her sympathy at the same time. Several parts of which she was quite sure she would never forget, the look of pain on his face as he lost control in Dumbledore's office after Lily's death. The way he had muttered "I wish… I wish _I_ were dead…" would always haunt her.

As she returned to the present, she stared at Snape in sympathy. Snape had noticed the moment the memories had finished because he had in fact been observing her unintentionally, he just couldn't help himself, he wanted to know her reaction and he hated himself for it.

"I do NOT want your sympathy" he said grumpily as she had begun to express how sorry she was. As Julia's emotions were in a rather volatile state after seeing such shocking images, her anger quickly rose at his outburst.

"FINE!" she somewhat shouted "then you shall have my anger instead!" she took a large breath, building up to her rant. "I get why you were angry at James, Severus. He was undoubtedly a spoilt bully, and what he and his friends did to you was wrong. But he was a child Severus, don't you think that there was a chance he might have grown up, you didn't even give him a second chance! I KNOW that you loved Lily, and that you were heartbroken that she chose James over you; but you hurt her Severus and she deserved better! If you really loved her, you would have been happy that she could find someone who would love her enough to die for her, and who _did _die for her! Lily was not stupid, she would not have been with James Potter if he was still the arrogant idiot who tormented you as a child, and surely you had enough trust in her to know that! I get why you were angry Severus, I really, _really_ do, but that does not give you the right, even for one minute to take your anger out on their son, a boy who never even knew them! You lost Lily, yes, she married James. But none of this was Harry's fault! You have never even met the boy, and already you judge him. Well let me tell you something Severus, I have observed this boy for weeks on end and he is nothing short of extraordinary! He does not have the arrogance of his father Severus, and if you would just take your head out of your ass for one moment, you would see just how much he is like the woman you loved!" She gave him one last withering look before saying "goodbye!" with a definite air of finality before stalking out of the room.

Snape sat in abject shock, not quite knowing what had hit him, too shocked to even be angry, which was a first for him. He shook his head, completely confused as to what possessed him to even consider showing her his memories. For some reason, he just could not get her words out of his head, they reverberated in the deep recesses of his brain and they haunted him.

--

Every part of his body ached. Unfortunately for Harry, his absence had been noticed, and the Dursley's didn't appreciate the fact that they had to make their own dinner, as such Harry had been punished by Vernon accordingly to fit the crime (apparently it was most grievous).

After dragging himself into his trunk, he quickly barricaded himself in, and promptly fell into a deep sleep on his newly purchased bed. When he finally woke up he couldn't bring himself to leave the comfort and peace he had inside his trunk. Why should he feel inclined to leave? After all he had everything he needed, he had food and books, what more could he ask for?

Harry spent the rest of the time before school started in the same repetitive pattern, he ate, he read, he slept and he did little else.

His presence was not missed by the Dursleys, every time any of them went near Harry's cupboard, they instantly forgot their reason for being there and remembered something else that they needed to be doing.

--

Harry peeked outside his door, the coast was clear, he needed to go now as he wanted to be on the train to school early. Creeping as quietly as he could towards the door he breathed a sigh of relief when no rampaging relative came running towards him.

He froze when he opened the door, he had spoken too soon yet again, he really needed to kick that habit. The Dursleys stared blankly at him for a few minutes from the other side of the door, their minds finally kicked into gear, Vernon's anger a minute later.

Bugger. He was so close to freedom!

--

Harry winced as he walked through King's Cross Station, he had finally escaped from the evil clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt… er I mean Vernon Dursley, and was in a considerable amount of pain (3). He was also running late and desperately needed to sit down before he fell down; the world was swirling a bit around him, after all a few blinding blows to the head will do that to a person.

Taking a deep breath and steadying himself he wandered towards platform nine and ten, after all he had read Hogwarts a History and knew precisely how to get on to platform nine and three-quarters, it was another matter actually doing it. He didn't feel entirely comfortable running full pelt at a brick wall which simple physics told him would hurt. But noting he had precious little time left he made a dash for it anyway, feeling more than slightly disoriented on the other side. Shaking himself out of it he quickly jumped on the train, moments before it left; Hedwig gave an indignant hoot with ruffled feathers at being tossed around so much, to which Harry promptly apologised and Hedwig looked mildly appeased.

Every compartment Harry looked into as he walked past was filled with chattering students, something he was never good at dealing with. There were no empty compartments left, but the last one he came to only held one person, who was reading, so Harry figured it was his safest bet.

It took a few knocks at the door to get the girl's attention, she appeared to be rather absorbed in her book, eventually she jumped at the sound "Do you mind if I sit in here? Everywhere else is full." Harry enquired politely, only stammering slightly due to his shyness and insecurity.

The girl gave him a bit of an odd look, which Harry took as a bad sign so quickly covered by saying "oh I can see you don't want anybody in here, so I'm sure I can find somewhere else."

Finally the girl spoke up "No, no it's fine, I was just surprised is all"

Intrigued despite his shy demeanor he questioned "surprised?"

"Oh" she blushed slightly "well there were other people in here before, but as soon as I started to talk about my book" she gestured to the heavy tome in her lap "they all beat a hasty retreat, so I sought of figured I would be alone for the rest of the journey. It wouldn't really surprise me, I seem to have that effect on a lot of people."

Far from running as quickly as he could out the door, as the girl half expected him to do, he instead asked "what are you reading that would send so many people scurrying?"

"Hogwarts a History" she replied and launched into a full on rant about it, ending in "I really don't see why more people don't read it, it's a fascinating book!"

"I agree it really was quite enlightening, especially for someone like me who has been raised as a muggle, knowing nothing about magic" Harry replied, warming to the subject.

Shocked that he was still there, let alone responding to her comments in an intelligent manner and that he had in fact _read_ the book, the girl sat with her mouth agape. Finally gaining a hold of herself she beamed the brightest smile Harry had ever had directed at himself, which left him feeling slightly euphoric.

"It's very nice to meet you, I'm Hermione Granger" she said sticking out her hand

In his happy state Harry didn't hesitate to reciprocate the gesture. Though she was clearly surprised by his name, she didn't want to alienate the closest thing she had ever had to a kindred spirit, so she didn't mention his fame, a fact which Harry was most grateful for.

"Have you practiced any spells yet?" Hermione asked quickly "I have only tried a couple so far, I just hope I've read enough to not be at a disadvantage for being a muggle" apparently once she started talking she didn't stop, not that Harry was complaining.

Before long things were whizzing around the room as they practiced the Wingardium Levisa charm, a book almost hitting the lady with the lunch trolly as she reached their door, fortunately she managed to duck in time.

By the time they reached Hogwarts they had struck up a timid sort of friendship, both were just hoping they would be in the same house so as to continue it.

As they were waiting at the base of the stairs to await their fate in the sorting ceremony a sneering boy with white-blonde hair approached him "So it's true then, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts" instantly every eye turned towards him. Feeling more than slightly uncomfortable at being the centre of attention he merely nodded "I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy" Hermione let out a bit of a snort at his overly dramatic James Bond style introduction. Giving Hermione a death glare he continued "You will soon learn that some people in this world are looked down upon" blatantly sneering at Hermione "You don't want to be making friends with the wrong sort, I can help you there" and he stuck his pale hand in the direction of Harry. At a loss at what to do, Harry merely stared at it before replying "I think I can decide that for myself"

The audience around them snickered and Malfoy's pale face turned slightly red, raising his wand towards Harry's head, before he could act, however, Hermione had stepped between them "Leave him alone Malfoy, unless you want to get expelled from Hogwarts before we even begin?"

"Young man! Put your wand away this instant, we will have none of that here. You will have twenty points deducted from your house." McGonnagal said sternly.

"I'm afraid that is quite impossible Professor as I have not yet been sorted into a house" Malfoy said with his nose pointed in the air.

McGonnagal's face took on a dangerous look "What's your name, boy?"

"Draco Malfoy"

"Well _Mr. Malfoy_ as soon as you are sorted you will have the singular experience of sending your new house into negative points and I will have no more cheek or it will be double. Do I make myself clear?" Draco merely scowled "Good, now everyone follow me."

--

"Harry Potter"

The second his name was read he felt every single eye in the Hall turn to him which left him feeling slightly squeamish. The hall was so silent that the soft thump of the hat being placed on his head could be heard in every corner.

After a couple of minutes Harry managed to convince the hat to place him in Gryffindor. Though it was not until some minutes later, mid-way into his discussion with the hat about the rights of inanimate transfigured objects that the hat was finally ripped off his head.

"Is everything alright Mr. Potter?" McGonnagal asked giving him a strange look

Harry didn't have a chance to answer, as the hat seemed to regain its purpose for being there, shouting out "Gryffindor" in a loud voice.

From that moment on there was a whirlwind of activity around him with everyone on the Gryffindor table clamoring to meet him, to befriend him.

For the first time in his life Harry was popular, and he found he didn't like it any better than when he had sunk into obscurity at his old school.

--

"Hi" the bushy brown headed girl said timidly, after all she was not used to having friends and as such was completely unsure how to act. There was also the possibility that he had changed his mind, after all everybody had been overly friendly to _him_ after they found out just _who_ he was, and as he was now popular, he may not wish to speak to her again.

"Hi" Harry replied just as timidly, who likewise was not used to friendship with somebody who was human.

Hermione stood there silently for a moment, shuffling her feet, before she blurted out "are we still friends?"

"Of course, why wouldn't we be?"

"Well… it's just that you made so many friends last night that I thought maybe you'd prefer them…" she trailed off blushing

"I wouldn't exactly call them friends Hermione, they were just a large group of people who wanted to talk to the 'famous' Harry Potter" he said a bit bitterly "I'm not entirely sure I even trust them. But you, you stood up for me, you placed yourself in front of a wand to protect me, in that moment I learned everything I would ever need to trust you."

"Can I sit with you?" Hermione asked, smiling brightly at his rather sweet comment.

Harry gave a short smile, relieved that she was just as timid as he, not trying to force her friendship on him like everybody else, merely for his fame. "Sure" he answered, and suddenly the tension was broken, both of them managing to discuss books for well over an hour and a half, with only a few awkward silences. For the first time, conversation flowed easily for Harry, and before they knew it, both their stomachs were growling for food.

--

Everybody in the hall, barring most of the Slytherin and teaching tables, were intrigued and not a little bit jealous, that the insufferable know-it-all bookworm with fluffy brown hair had managed to entice the famous Harry Potter into such a riveting conversation that no one else could be privy to. They were both in fact completely oblivious to the people filling the hall giving them odd looks, interested only in what each other had to say. They were only made aware of the presence of the other people in the hall (a considerable number) when Professor McGonagall had handed out their timetables. It took only a few moments after they had received the timetables for Hermione to announce she had finished eating, and only a few moments more to convince Harry of the same, despite the large amount of food still piled on his plate.

Hermione was in a very happy mood, for starters, she was about to begin learning something new, that alone was enough to make her happy, but on top of that she had made a friend, one who actually understood her and seemed to take pleasure in her company, that was enough to make her practically bounce off the walls. Her present state of extreme happiness made her considerably more forward than she usually was, as such as soon as she had bounded out of her seat she grabbed Harry's arm and practically dragged him out of the hall.

For the first time since he had moved to the Dursley's he didn't flinch when somebody touched him, in fact he decided, he didn't mind her closeness very much at all. Rather bemused he asked "Hermione, where are we going?"

"To class of course!" she replied matter of factly

"Ah… Hermione it doesn't start for another hour!" he smiled at her, amused by exuberance.

"It doesn't hurt to be early! Besides we can re-read the first few chapters of the textbook before we start!"

"Hermione, I have known you for less than two days, but even still, I know you well enough to be sure that you have the textbook memorised already!" he shook his head, smiling at her again

"Oh bother, you're right… well we can start practicing! We haven't really had a chance to do that yet! Come on lets go!" and she began walking faster, dragging Harry happily along behind her.

When they reached the room, after a couple of wrong turns, dead ends, unhelpful portraits and numerous changing staircases, Hermione moved immediately to a seat at the front, Harry following immediately behind. They had managed to reach the fourth chapter before anyone else walked into the room, unfortunately for them, the next person who did was none other than Draco Malfoy, and his two goons. Smirking maliciously when he saw Harry and Hermione sitting rather close together reading the same book, he taunted them "Oooh look, Potty's got himself a girlfriend!"

"Shove off Malfoy" Harry said, grumpy that their solitude had been so soundly interrupted

"Oh and now he's getting testy, he mustn't have gotten any from her last night… what use is the mudblood then?"

"Malfoy…" Harry growled, he was used to people insulting him, it didn't bother him any more, but he would not stand for his new friend to be insulted in such a way "I'm warning you, don't say another word…" he lifted his wand up and pointed it in Malfoy's direction.

Malfoy, however, did not shut up, he continued with his lewd comments, happy that he had found Potter's weak spot "she would have to be pretty damn good in bed to make up for that disaster she calls hair, wouldn't you agree Crabbe…" Before Crabbe had a chance to answer, however, Harry had already muttered a curse aimed towards Malfoy. When it hit him, nothing seemed to happen and Malfoy smirked at him "Is that all you got Potter, can't even mutter a curse right!"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that Malfoy…" Harry smirked right back "have fun attempting to explain that particular malady" he said before glancing just below his midsection. Catching the drift of this, Malfoy's eyes bulged and he rushed outside towards the bathrooms. Moments later screaming could be heard, though none but Malfoy, Harry and Hermione knew why… Malfoy was bemoaning his considerably downsized appendage. Harry didn't get in trouble for this particular act, as Malfoy couldn't bring himself to tell anybody about it, and when he did tell Madam Pomfrey she assumed he was requesting the appendage in question enlarged for other reasons… for some reason Malfoy did not bother Harry or Hermione for a while after _that_ particular fiasco.

As soon as she heard the screaming, Hermione said "did you just do what I think you just did?"

For the first time Harry's eyes took on a rather mischievous sparkle, but all he said was "quite"

"You really shouldn't have Harry, I don't want you to be expelled on my account" she really did want to remain stern, but couldn't help breaking into fits of giggles that didn't stop until the Professor came into the room, at which point she barely managed to contain them. Both Harry and Hermione lost their composure, however when the Professor reached the name Malfoy on the roll and asked where he was. Crabbe, who had raced out of the room with Goyle when Malfoy screamed, answered that he was in the hospital wing. The raucous laughter that came from Harry and Hermione was enough to draw many incredulous glances from the rest of the class, including the teacher.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Granger seeing as you both seem so inclined to disrupt the class, I don't suppose either of you could tell me what the _Wingardium Leviosa _charm does can you?" Professor Flitwick asked, he was not really expecting an answer and almost fell off his precarious perch above a dozen or so books when both of them answered "levitation" simultaneously. Once he had regained his balance, Flitwick, who was rather disconcerted said "I don't suppose either of you would be able to demonstrate?" hoping to likewise disconcert them, unfortunately for him this was not the case. Both of them performed the task admirably, so Flitwick merely told the rest of the class to follow their example before climbing down from his perch to ponder over the strange pair of students.

--

Harry lay in bed, later that night with a very large smile on his face which he just couldn't seem to wipe off. He was happy. In fact he couldn't ever remember being this happy. What's more, he knew it wasn't just the new school that put him in such high spirits, nor learning magic, not even being away from the Dursleys. They all in fact contributed to his present happy state, but it was not the cause, the cause was at present sleeping in the girl's dormitories, unaware of the power she affected over him.

--

Snape felt slightly bereft, a feeling which he couldn't quite find a logical reason for, he really should feel happy with himself, after all Julia Figg had finally stopped annoying him, in fact she avoided him like the plague. No, he decided, he _was_ happy, no more chirpy comments being directed at him every few seconds at a million miles per hour. How long the peace would last he wasn't entirely sure, she wouldn't stay angry at him for ever. He then decided he was thinking entirely too much about the matter, entirely too much about _her_ in general, so he made a concerted effort to stop… but then realised that in thinking about not thinking about her he was in a roundabout way actually thinking of her and let out a loud groan of frustration.

The next morning he heard her follow him out the doors of the Great Hall 'Ha!' he gloated to himself, he knew she would come back eventually, he then smiled for some inexplicable reason. This rapidly changed to a frown however, as she began talking "I know I promised to leave you alone, and I will. There is one last thing I would like to say however, if you do nothing else, I want you to give that boy a chance. I don't expect you to suddenly start being nice to students, you don't even have to _like_ the boy. I just want you to at least give him the chance to earn your respect and I promise you, he will surprise you." Julia turned and walked away. Snape felt inexplicably disappointed.

--

Harry and Hermione had a similar effect on most other teachers that they had on Professor Flitwick, even Professor McGonagall was disconcerted, as within minutes of receiving their matches, both had managed to turn them into needles and back again several times, Harry had got it first go, and Hermione not long after, with a few pointers from Harry. She managed to bestow on both one of her rare smiles, "Well done Mr. Potter, Miss Granger" to which Hermione beamed proudly, while Harry only blushed, he hated standing out and already he had been singled out by every single teacher so far.

Julia Figg even managed to be impressed, despite what she knew about Harry already. The only teacher so far, who in fact did not notice anything different had been Professor Binns… which was hardly surprising as he probably wouldn't even notice if half his class was missing.

By the time the first Friday had rolled around, Harry and Hermione had quite shocked every teacher (barring Binns) out of their wits, and they were all the teachers could talk about.

Consequently Snape was completely sick of hearing their names by the time his first class with them rolled around, he was sick of the teachers praising them to the skies and most of all he was sick of the voices reverberating through his head that sounded remarkably like Julia Figg. To get some peace and quiet he finally reasoned with himself that he would give the boy one chance, one lesson and if he hadn't managed to impress him by then, then he would let his anger loose on the boy. Unsurprisingly this resolution still would not quiet the voices in his head; she really _had_ sent him mad.

Entering his potions classroom with as much flair as possible, he began his usual first potions spiel, coming up to his favourite part he finally looked at the Potter boy "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind, and ensnare the senses. I can teach you how to bottle flame brew glory and even put a stopper in death." The boy really was like his father, he hadn't been paying attention to a word he had said. He let his anger against James Potter get the best of him, and he singled out Harry "Mr. Potter, tell me what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"They make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death, Sir. The other ingredients needed are valerian roots and sopophorous bean" Harry answered immediately.

'Lucky guess' Snape thought to himself, so he continued "Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

"The stomach of a goat, Sir, and it is used as an antidote to most poisons" Once again Harry did not waste any time in answering.

'Obviously a fluke' Snape was determined not to believe this boy was anything special. "And what exactly is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"They are the same plant, Sir, which also goes by the name of aconite, and is extremely poisonous"

Now he _was_ impressed, as much as he hated to admit it. "What is Veritaserum, what colour is it, and what does it smell like?" he smirked, sure he had won with this one, Harry answered once again without a moments thought.

"It is a colourless, odourless, truth serum, Sir"

Now Snape himself was beginning to look like a fool, but he had to put the boy in his place, or he would never be able to command any respect, he would undoubtedly turn out just like his father. So he thought up something no first year could possibly know "What does a Polyjuice Potion do, and what are the ingredients?"

Without missing a beat Harry replied "The Polyjuice Potion transforms a person to look exactly like someone else, one dose usually lasts for an hour. The ingredients are lacewing flies stewed for twenty-one days, leeches, powdered bicorn horn, knotgrass, fluxweed picked at full moon, shredded boomslang skin, and a bit of who one wants to turn into"

Even Hermione looked shocked at his knowledge of that one, she hadn't even _read_ about it yet. Snape looked disconcerted, and utterly shocked, though this only lasted for a minute before he said rather peevishly, "Well, why aren't you all copying this down?"

Snape found it very difficult to concentrate on the lesson from then on, his tumultuous thoughts, turned upside down by Harry, had left him almost incapable of rational thought; as such it was probably the most enjoyable class ever held in that room. Harry and Hermione's potion turned out perfectly, and they even managed to save Neville's cauldron from blowing up.

A few minutes before the class was supposed to end, Snape snapped himself out of his stupor, "Mr. Potter, would you please stay behind after class. The rest of you are dismissed" everybody but Harry and Hermione rushed out, eager to discuss the bizarre beginning to their potions lesson and Snape's peculiar reaction towards Harry Potter.

"I thought I dismissed you!" Snape said peevishly in Hermione's direction.

"I beg your pardon Professor, I am merely waiting for my friend to finish" it took much gall for a first year to stand up to him, he had to give her that, but still she had disobeyed him and he gave an indignant snort.

"How is it Mr. Potter, that you know so much?" Snape asked abruptly

"I've just read a lot" Harry muttered, embarrassed to be once again singled out

"You've got all this knowledge, just from books, in the two or so months that you have known you're a wizard?" Snape questioned disbelievingly

"Yes" Harry replied, shuffling his feet nervously

"But that's impossible!" he moved towards him and put his hand on Harry's shoulder as if to shake some sense into him, he felt him flinch beneath him, but most people did when Snape went near them. "It's simply imposs…"

"Wait!" Snape almost yelled, stepping back and raising his wand to point at Harry "Who are you?" Snape yelled at Harry, while Harry merely looked confused

"Harry Potter, Sir"

"Oh don't fool with me, you are wearing a disillusionment charm, I could feel the magic coursing over your skin. So I ask again, who are you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm Harry P…"

Snape muttered a charm, and the disillusionment charm fell off of Harry, revealing a large number of bruises and scratches on his exposed skin. Both Hermione and Snape could not but help letting out a gasp of surprise, Snape had suspected an imposter. The bruises once again disappeared, Harry looking extremely vexed at Snape. "Harry what happened to you?"

"Nothing, I am fine!" Harry replied peevishly

Knowing he would not get the truth out of Harry, Snape used the only thing he could think of, Occulamency, what he saw made his pallid face turn an unnatural shade "your uncle… your uncle did this to you?"

Shocked at the truth of Snape's apparent guess, Harry didn't answer for a few minutes. Finally he replied "yes, he didn't exactly appreciate the fact that I was coming to this school." Harry replied bitterly

"He beat you to a pulp because you are a wizard?" Snape asked incredulously

"They aren't exactly fond of wizards, no."

"Potter, come with me now!" Snape quickly strode out of the room, making sure Harry was behind him. Harry was really wishing he had kept his mouth shut, he did not appreciate being fussed over, his only comfort was Hermione, walking meekly beside him.

(1) Sorry, had to use this word somewhere… isn't it a great word? (sorry about the superfluous (oh look, another great word) authors notes… but they are fun to write + it is entirely probable that I am more than slightly crazy).

(2) Okay so not an actual word, but you understand what I mean so it's good enough… (well maybe you do anyway…). Just as a side note, I looked up 'bludge' and apparently it was originally a word for a pimp… gives the sentence "he bludged off his mum and dad" a whole new meaning… wow that's wrong. Note to self: _never_ use this word again.

(3) Well the line "from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt" is from Star Wars obviously… though a banana covered in chocolate and edible ball bearings to anyone who can tell me exactly where in the movies it is from. + bonus points for anyone who can guess why the hell I am talking about bananas and edible ball bearings in the same sentence (the fact that I am completely crazy cannot be a reason… though that is a part of it)

Also any information about potions comes from the Harry Potter Lexicon, Encylopedia of spells.

Btw, I really don't know when I will get the next chapter up… as evidenced by the fact this chapter took me like a year to get around to posting it. My life is hell at the moment, and there definitely won't be anything else up till at least mid November, 'cause that's when University ends for me (although if you are very lucky I might put my procrastination to good use and write some more of this). Sorry about that.


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